#ineedhelp | Robin L. Seaton

Why Should I Consider Forgiveness?

by Robin Seaton | Nov 14, 2025 | Is There Relief for the Pain?, Places for Hope and Healing Resources, Stories of Transformation, What Does a Relationship With God Look Like?

Forgiveness isn’t a word often used these days. And when it is, the pain we feel from the trauma or betrayal goes too deep to even consider. Yet, I’ve learned that stuffing doesn’t fix anything.

I’ve learned from experience that stuffing is not equal to healing. Eventually the stuffing begins to ooze out all over the place, much like that suitcase I filled too full. As my suitcase is jostled and dropped, it eventually busts wide open to expose everything I wanted to stay hidden.

BEFORE I BEGIN

I’m not a professional, and I understand that healing from trauma and betrayal may require time and professional help before forgiveness is possible. With that, I have experienced the internal peace that comes with forgiveness.

Also, if you currently live in trauma without safety, I pray that God would move on your behalf so you may see his care for you and experience his power at work on your behalf. Please don’t stay there once you see the way out!

I also pray that God grant you someone to help you navigate the pain you’ve endured so that you can begin to heal. If you have sought help and have had little relief, there are many stories of people whom God has healed from PTSD.

I too have experienced his healing from PTSD over time and have shared pieces of my story in other posts. Because of my own need in the last year to heal and make choices regarding forgiveness, I have done a lot of soul-searching and some study on forgiveness–what it is and what it isn’t. I have become greatly aware that to find healing eventually requires the choice to forgive. But first let me clarify what I mean by forgiveness.

FORGIVENESS

Never justifies the perpetrator or what they’ve done. God saw it all and promises he himself to take vengeance.
Never eliminates the need for restitution.
Never means you need to stay with or return to the perpetrator so they can continue to abuse. Safety is never ignored by true forgiveness. (Church leaders should NEVER advise anyone to stay with an abusive spouse or parent in order “to submit and forgive”.)
Doesn’t assume a time-frame. (If the events caused deep emotional wounds or trauma, you may need outside help to process the events and your emotions/trauma to be able to forgive.)

FORGIVENESS ALWAYS ASSUMES

The perpetrator doesn’t deserve forgiveness.
The choice to forgive is for the benefit of one emotionally wounded or traumatized to find inner peace and healing.
“I refuse from this time forward to be emotionally enslaved to the one who traumatized me.” (Refusal to forgive keeps the traumatized emotionally chained to the perpetrator and events that traumatized.)

SCIENTIFIC STUDIES ON THE POWER OF FORGIVENESS

As I researched for this article, I found many quotes both for and against forgiving those who’ve deeply wounded you. I also read about overwhelming scientific evidence (abstract by NIH, Harvard Medical School, Johns Hopkins Medical School) that suggests that the choice to forgive benefits the forgiver.

Practicing forgiveness can have powerful health benefits. Observational studies, and even some randomized trials, suggest that forgiveness is associated with lower levels of depression, anxiety, and hostility; reduced substance abuse; higher self-esteem; and greater life satisfaction. Yet, forgiving people is not always easy. From “The Power of Forgiveness” February 12, 2021, Harvard Health Publishing, Harvard Medical School

STORIES OF EXTREME FORGIVENESS

10 Inspiring Stories of Extreme Forgiveness That Will Lift Your Spirits

Faith Gateway article from the book by Eric Metaxas, “7 Women and the Secrets of Their Greatness” entitled, “The Test Of Forgiveness.” The article is about Corrie ten Boom, an Austrian Holocaust Survivor whose family harbored Jews in their home before being caught and sent to the Ravensbrück concentration camp.

NPR News article: “‘It’s For You To Know That You Forgive,’ Says Holocaust Survivor” about Eva Kor, founder of the CANDLES (Children of Auschwitz Nazi Deadly Lab Experiments Survivors) Holocaust Museum and Education Center in Terre Haute, Ind.

WHAT IF I’M NOT YET ABLE TO FORGIVE

Maybe you’re thinking one of these scenarios right now:

“But I can’t forgive.”
“I’m still suffering from what they did to me.”
“What they did was too horrific to be forgiven.”
“They still don’t care about what they did to me.”
“But you have no idea what you’re asking me to do.”

To say I understand would be cruel. I can’t even list all I’ve faced and use my life’s experiences as reason for me to sit here and tell you I understand.

Yet, as I contemplate the events of my own life and the pain I’ve experienced even the last year, I’m realizing forgiveness plays a huge role in my ability to experience lasting inner peace and healing.

Please don’t throw out the idea of forgiveness without taking time to consider what you have read here. Forgiveness is meant for you to flourish.

BUT WHAT IF I’M THE ONE WHO NEEDS FORGIVENESS?

You aren’t alone. Every one of us, including me, have been in this place of needing forgiveness. That’s why God’s Word states that:

Christ suffered and died for sins once and for all–the innocent for the guilty–to bring you near to God by his body being put to death and by being raised to life by the Spirit. 1 Peter 3:18 TPT

How to Forgive Yourself Even When It Seems Impossible, Real Simple magazine article by Sara Gaynes Levy and Ria Bhagwat, updated May 22, 2025

God is the one we truly need the most forgiveness from. Yet, in Christ Jesus, he never refuses to forgive anyone who seeks him and his forgiveness. He is so gracious. Yet, as you seek his forgiveness, you need to know that he then requires you to offer others what you have received from him.

A PERSONAL STORY OF EXTRAVAGANT FORGIVENESS

I sat in the congregation while praise music blared as one-by-one young and old testified of their new life in Christ through baptism in the pool set up at the front of the church. Suddenly I noticed a middle-aged man I knew enter the pool followed by a young man whom the older man was readying to baptise. I had heard the story of how the older and younger had met and sat with tears streaming down my face as I witnessed extravagant love.

The older man and his wife had lost their son several years before to a drunk driver. They decided that rather than live in rage at what had happened, they would choose to forgive. Not only that, they decided they wanted to meet this young man who had squandered their son’s precious life through a moment of sheer stupidity and self-indulgence. They were granted permission to meet their son’s murderer, and share their hearts to forgive. They spent time with this young man over the next several years. Moved by their love, the young man decided to give his life to Christ. This particular morning, as both father and murderer stood together in the baptismal pool, a new family was born and hundreds got to witness extravagant love. Love like Jesus.

WHAT IF THE ONE YOU NEED TO FORGIVE IS GOD?

Talk to him about it. He’s seen your heart all along and would want you to dialogue with him about it. It won’t hurt, and could help. Also, if you’ve been wounded by someone who identified themselves with God, they aren’t God. There are plenty of people who misrepresent him every day. Talk to God about them as well. God longs for you to find restoration with him through Jesus.

STRUGGLING WITH THE PAIN OF FORGIVING

Corrie ten Boom was an Austrian Christian who’s family hid Jews during the Pogroms in Austria. Her father and sister died in concentration camps, and she survived Ravensbruck. This is her story of struggle:

BIBLE BITES REGARDING FORGIVENESS

“Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy.” —Micah 7:18

“If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” —2 Chronicles 7:14

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” —Ephesians 4:32

MAY I PRAY FOR YOU?

Father, I know what it’s like to hurt so badly that the thought of forgiveness makes me feel like throwing up. Yet, I’ve also felt the freedom of finally choosing to forgive. Would you please comfort this one who now struggles? Would you reveal your heart toward them and what they’ve been through? Would you come now and intervene on their behalf to help them do what they cannot on their own? Thank you, in Jesus’ name, amen.

Am I Listening to the Right Voices?

by Robin Seaton | Jun 13, 2025 | Is There Relief for the Pain?, Places for Hope and Healing Resources, What Does a Relationship With God Look Like?

I’m learning the hard way that listening for the approval of people while listening to the accusations in my head is maddening!

Am I listening for the approval of others?

I’ve been a people pleaser my whole life, listening and hoping for their approval. I’m the one who notices every facial expression, and every look. I’ve been the one who wonders if the person who just walked into the room is disgruntled because of something I may have done to displease them. I’ve been this way my whole life, and I’m beginning to realize it has become like a python wringing the life out of me.

I know I’m not alone. About a year ago I had a conversation with someone who exclaimed, “All girls want is to control you.” I expressed that I too was a girl and didn’t have such designs for him. I then stated that I knew plenty of “girls” who didn’t have that as their number one goal in life. I suggested that maybe his ideas about “all girls” only indicated who he was listening to, who he hung around, and the kind of music and social media presence he chose to listen to.

Am I listening to voices that drag me down?

Unrealistic social media clips that scream that everyone else’s life is far better than mine
People who act as though my only worth is in meeting their excessive expectations and increasing demands
Those in life who ascribe worth based solely upon my sexual performance
Bosses who demand more and more despite excessive workload and extreme overtime
The inner voices of the past who proclaimed I’m worthless
The religion that exclaims my value comes by checking off the religious “to-do” list
The inner coach who proclaims I will never be good enough, never be successful enough, because nothing I do is ever enough
That online bully who won’t go away
The daily newsclips that makes me depressed, anxious, and fearful
The experiences of the past that say that it’s too late, too horrible, too evil

I’ve found a voice worth listening to

The only voice I’ve found powerful enough to quiet the other voices is the voice of my heavenly Daddy. In the last few weeks, I’m learning how to better listen to his voice and silence the others. I no longer feel crazy inside.

I was recently recommended an app that has greatly impacted who I listen to. Late last week, I was given an exercise using Psalm 23. I was asked to use the phrases and sentences in the Psalm to search for Jesus’ heart for me as I shared my heart with him.

As you read, please be honest with God. Modify the prayer to fit you.

An invitation to silence all the other voices and be heard by the God who listens

An exercise in honestly listening and being listened to using Psalm 23

The Lord is my shepherd, he provides for every need so I don’t lack anything.

God, I’m not yet certain I need a shepherd. I have so many questions about you. But I do know I lack a whole lot of things like peace, hope, joy, and a sense of being loved and valued for who I am. I’ve listened to a whole lot of people and can’t seem to find any of these things, at least not in a way that lasts very long. If you are listening, would you please show me who you are, and why you value me? Would you show me how to have your peace? Would you give me hope?

He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet streams, he restores my soul.

Life is chaotic. The accusing and competing voices I’ve been listening to are too loud. I need safe spaces and quietness inside. I need peace and calm in my soul. If you are listening, would you please quiet the other voices so I can hear yours?

He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

No matter what I do, I never feel like I please anyone, let alone you. The accusing voices are driving me mad. Yet your word says that Jesus did everything right on my behalf and that he paid for my rebellion so I can be made right with you. If you are able to redeem me from the accusing voices I’ve listened to, would you please?

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me. Your rod and staff comfort me.

Life is hard and I’ve been through a lot of horrible stuff. God, did you see it all? Did you care about it all? If you did, would you show me where you were when I faced all this? Would you reveal your love and heart to me in the face of all I’ve been through? Please. I need your comfort. I need to see you are truly able and powerful to take care of all I face in life. I’m listening. I also need to know if you are listening as well.

You prepare a table for me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil. My cup overflows.

I have plenty of enemies, and to be honest they are overwhelming and beyond my capability to protect myself. If you can pull off offering me a feast as they look on, unable to do anything about it, I’m ready. I’m famished and so thirsty for something in life worth living for. I need your healing ointment. I’m so tired.

Surely goodness and kindness shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in God’s house forever.

Are you claiming that f I allow you to shepherd me, that goodness and kindness will follow me the rest of my life? There isn’t much goodness or kindness left in the world I live in. I’m not even sure I know what goodness or kindness feel like. If that is true, then please show me your kindness. Show me your goodness.

You also offer me the opportunity to live in your house forever? I’ve never felt like I belong anywhere; so, if you, the God of heaven, are offering me a safe place in your peaceful home forever, it’s beyond anything I can fathom. I long to follow a shepherd who can grant such magnificent promises. Reveal yourself to me. Reveal the reality of your promises to me, please.

An invitation to explore a relationship

Throughout the Bible God has used the picture of sheep and a shepherd because the people of the day were shepherds and farmers. They understood the beautiful relationship between the shepherd and his sheep. They could pick out a good shepherd from the bad ones by how well the shepherd cared for his sheep. They also understood how vulnerable sheep were, how defenseless they were without a good shepherd. We too are defenseless on our own against the evil we face in the world. Jesus offers to be a good shepherd to you. The invitation is yours, the choice is also yours. If you wish to converse with him about it, use the idea of Psalm 23 above and tell him so. He hears you very well and has longed a very long time for that conversation.

My Guilt Is Killing Me

by Robin Seaton | Mar 12, 2025 | If There’s a God, What’s He Like?, Is There Relief for the Pain?, Places for Hope and Healing Resources, What Does a Relationship With God Look Like?, Why Am I Here?

Guilt. We all deal with it and have since the first humans experienced overpowering guilt and shame several millennia ago.

WHAT INTRODUCED GUILT AND SHAME INTO OUR STORY?

Created Guiltless

In Genesis one and two we read that God created all things by speaking them into existence. Yet it adds that he uniquely formed the first man with his own hands out of the dust of the ground, and then breathed his very life into him. He later fashioned the first woman from the man’s rib. The Bible also says God created them in his very image and likeness. He then gave all humanity, including you and me the mandate to rule and care for this earth as he would, as his co-regents. Identity, relationship, purpose, and fulfillment. Guiltless.

God declared them and us the pinnacle of his creation.

The garden he place them in was beautiful beyond imagination and included everything they would need and everything that was was good and pleasing. Here they experienced God’s very best – safety, peace, and gladness, with a life free from danger, fear, anxiety, sorrow, grief, pain, guilt, and shame. God joined them in the garden and spent precious time with them.

Within this beautiful garden God planted a tree called “The Knowledge of Good and Evil” and allowed access for a serpent. Both were harmless if left alone, but were in the garden to offer the man and woman the freedom to choose or reject God (no robots). God gave them one rule out of all the “yes’s” he offered, along with his explicit instructions to never eat from that tree. If they did, they would die.

Guilt introduced

In Genesis three we read that one day as the woman walked in the garden, the serpent came along and pointed out that tree and inferred that she and her husband Adam were missing out, and that one tree would enlighten them to all their Creator had withheld.

Adam and Eve already enjoyed God’s every good gift and safety, so the only thing that tree could offer was the knowledge of evil, which was the serpent’s specialty. In the original language, “evil” implies not only the construct of evil but everything that goes with it. Pain, suffering, hopelessness, guilt, shame, broken bodies, broken minds, foreign reasoning, all leading to a broken world. But this couple had never experienced such things, and so the serpent knew his only opportunity to gain their allegiance was to cause them to doubt God’s goodness, long for what they didn’t understand, and entice them to taste the pleasures evil offered. The serpent still counts on our naivety.

The Bible states that the woman believed the serpent and enticed her husband to also eat from the fruit. Immediately their eyes were opened to evil and they realized they were naked. Evil twisted what had been good, destroyed their innocence, and repictured view of themselves, their relationship with their Creator and one another. They sewed fig leaves to cover their guilt and shame and then hid from the only one who could help them.

Nothing has changed, has it?

MERCY FOR GUILT

God found the man and woman hiding and called them to himself. He questioned them, they blamed everything but themselves, and eventually confessed. He told them what they would have to face because of their choice, yet in hope also declared that one day he would send a Redeemer who would make all things right. This Redeemer would also destroy the serpent who had deceived them. God didn’t abandon them to their guilt.

GOD COVERED THEIR GUILT AND SHAME

If you read Genesis 3:21, you’ll notice that God didn’t do what most of us would do. After confronting them and offering hope, he removed their attempt to cover their guilt and shame, and clothed them. God killed an animal he had created for good things, took its skin, and covered his children. This was the first sacrifice to pay for sin. His love for his children was immense. It still is.

WHO IS THIS REDEEMER PROMISED TO RID US OF OUR GUILT?

There is a prophesy in Isaiah 53:2-6 in the Old Testament that beautifully describes this Redeemer and how he would rid you and me from guilt.

The servant grew up before God—a scrawny seedling,
a scrubby plant in a parched field.
There was nothing attractive about him,
nothing to cause us to take a second look.
He was looked down on and passed over,
a man who suffered, who knew pain firsthand.
One look at him and people turned away.
We looked down on him, thought he was scum.
But the fact is, it was our pains he carried—
our disfigurements, all the things wrong with us.
We thought he brought it on himself,
that God was punishing him for his own failures.
But it was our sins that did that to him,
that ripped and tore and crushed him—our sins!
He took the punishment, and that made us whole.
Through his bruises we get healed.
We’re all like sheep who’ve wandered off and gotten lost.
We’ve all done our own thing, gone our own way.
And God has piled all our sins, everything we’ve done wrong,
on him, on him. (MSG)

JESUS OFFERS US AN EXCHANGE FROM GUILT TO GUILTLESS

Kindness, mercy, and grace isn’t what we expect, is it? We assume judgement and condemnation because that is what we deserve. But God’s love is so great and his compassion so tender toward you and me that his heart would always rather offer to redeem us rather than condemn us in our guilt.

Our Creator sent his Son to do for us what we can’t do for ourselves. Jesus became a man yet remained fully God, lived guiltlessly before God, and chose to pay for our guilt by sacrificing himself on our behalf. His payment:

Cleanses us from our guilt and shame
Breathes his Spirit within us
Makes us brand new creatures in Jesus
Destroys the hold of sin and death that was killing us

His Spirit within us makes the exchange from death to life, darkness to light, evil to restored good (God’s righteousness) in a split second when we choose to entrust ourselves to this Redeemer and his offer of new life. Yet change also happens over time as we yield to his work within us. We never have to grunt out change. We only yield to his gentle voice and direction as he makes the changes within us. Not religious zeal, but contented restoration of guiltless relationship.

Today, he’s offering you this exchange. Your guilt for his righteousness. Living in God’s rightness takes us back to the place where we can experience the same goodness and guiltlessness that Adam and Eve left behind when they rebelled. The same peace, gladness, safety, hope, and freedom from guilt and shame that killed us inside.

That’s his gift to you, but you must be willing to receive both him and his gift. It’s your choice.

If you ask Jesus to make this exchange, he promises that you will no longer live in condemnation. Guiltless. Read that verse in Romans again. New creations in Jesus Christ don’t have to get bogged down any longer in the vicious cycle of sin and the death that brings about guilt and shame.

This is God’s offer to you. Right now.

May I pray for you?

Lord God, I am so tired of the guilt and shame. I’m tired of the endless cycle of attempting to cover myself but only ending up naked and ashamed once again. I have really messed my life up by __________________________ (you fill in the blank) and need a Redeemer, a savior. Would you make me new? I want to experience being made guiltless because of Jesus. Please. I give my life to you and will follow Jesus the rest of my days in gratitude for what you are about to do in me. In Jesus’ name, amen.

If you aren’t ready for that prayer, my I suggest this one?

“Dear God, I’m not certain I can believe all Robin says, or what your Bible says. But I am willing to say, ‘If you are real, and if all this is true, then reveal yourself to me. If you are real, I want to know you and experience all your Bible says. And if you do, I’ll serve you the rest of my days.'”

I’m still praying for you. Love, Robin

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A Church Girl’s Desire to Relate with Doubters, Skeptics, and Atheists

by Robin Seaton | Jan 29, 2023 | What Does a Relationship With God Look Like?

I’ve been reading a book entitled, “The Doubter’s Club” by Preston Ulmer, and it has made me do a lot of thinking about how I relate to doubters, atheists, and the deeply wounded. I realize that many of those wounds come from the church, making faith-based dialogue something you don’t want to get into. Yet, this book has given me hope that respectful, honest dialogue is possible and even beneficial even when parties disagree. This is an area where I greatly desire to grow and make an impact both in the church and community.

I HAVE A LOT TO LEARN ABOUT HOW TO RELATE WITH THE DEEPLY WOUNDED

My now deceased husband and I adopted our son with autism at five years old. Because of his trauma he has always struggled with his faith. I understand now, but when he was a child I was often clueless about how to relate with him in his pain. One particular conversation is seared into my memory. I read the Bible to him daily, and on one particular day read Psalm 139 and told him, teary-eyed with joy, that God fashioned and knew him intimately. I assumed he would be as comforted as I to hear he wasn’t “a mistake”. However, the revelation that God made him with autism on purpose only made him angry and began his descent from singing “Jesus loves me” to “O how I hate Jesus” much to my grief and dismay.

I THOUGHT I’D COME A LONG WAY, BUT…

I had a conversation on IG over a year ago with an atheist. I was as nervous as all get out because I didn’t want to do something dumb. I was proud of the fact God would entrust me with such an “assignment”. (I told you I have a long way to go.) Our discourse over a few weeks was polite and respectful on both ends. Much to my shame, when he eventually asked, “Is your god powerful?” I assumed he figured I’d never seen God’s power. Delighted to be able to proclaim God’s power, I replied, “Yes, I have found him to be so.” I never heard from him again and took his lack of response to mean, “I didn’t expect that answer, and am dumbfounded.”

However, months later (sometimes I can be dense) I remembered that some of his posts recounted (if I remember correctly) he had been molested during childhood by a trusted church member. Had I been less quick to answer and more desirous to show compassion, I would have realized where he was coming from. “If your god is so powerful, why didn’t he stop this person who called themselves a Christian from doing what they did to me?” In my zeal to proclaim Jesus to an atheist, hoping to wow him with my answers, I failed to see his pain. Even today, my lack of compassion brings me deep sadness.

I don’t believe I won any brownie points. I now realize that my selfish, arrogant motives grieved God because I failed to recognize this man and share in his pain. I failed to respond as Jesus would have, in anger and grief that someone whom he and his family trusted destroyed him in Christ’s name.

I should have grieved with this man. Yet I left him reassured that Christians are jerks and God hates him.

HOW I WISH I HAD RELATED TO THE ATHEIST

So today if I were to have another opportunity to relate with this man, I would do things differently. I would grieve with him for all that was destroyed in those hideous, reckless, thoughtless, selfish acts. I would hope to be quicker toward compassion and slower to answer with statements that would only increase the pain. I would try to see him rather than “an assignment”, Were he reading, I would say, “I’m so sorry for how I treated you. It was shameful and so wrong. Please forgive me.

Were we sitting over coffee, I would weep and rage with him over what happened and grieve how poorly I treated him.

HOW MY SON AND I RELATE NOW

My son is now thirty. He has found some comfort in walking with Christ. Yet, he still understandably struggles with his faith.

He and I continue to have faith discussions, and I now recognize he’s been through so much more than I could ever imagine. He’s a strong young man, and although we continue at times to struggle in our relationship, I’ve learned so much from him. I’ve changed so much because he is in my life, and I’m grateful.

MY DESIRE IS TO RELATE WITH YOU

if you’ve read any posts on this website, you will realize I have a long way to go in relating well to doubters, skeptics, atheists, and those deeply wounded. I’ve written to the Christian audience for a very long time, yet because of my own deeply wounded family members, and needing to work through my own pain, I really want to learn. Reading “The Doubter’s Club” has helped. It’s a start.

My husband and I also made a total life change this past year, and it has offered me the opportunity to relate with many others who are very unlike me. It’s changing my life.

My hope is to have meaningful faith discussions with you, yet I I’m not looking for notches in my Christian belt. I want to build relationships that discuss faith-based topics without discarding people when they disagree. Jesus came for the broken, and unfortunately we in the church have often failed to live that well in the world. I’m sorry. I want to change that.

IN ORDER TO BETTER RELATE

Would you be willing to critique this and any other post you wish? Not to bash me to pieces, please, but to begin dialogue that matters.

What do you think?

Robin

So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.

Colossians 3:12-14 (MSG)

What Do You Mean, ‘God Loves You?’

by Robin Seaton | Apr 13, 2021 | If There’s a God, What’s He Like?, Is There Relief for the Pain?, Podcast Points

Blog post from the podcast transcript of episode 002

During the first episode of the podcast, I often referred to God’s love for you as one of our core beliefs. Yet it dawned on me that many of you may struggle with the idea that God loves you, much less wants a relationship with you. The pain of life and the traumas of existence have left you feeling both unloved and unheard.

WHAT WE MEAN WHEN WE TALK ABOUT GOD’S LOVE

When looking at God’s love, surprisingly we can go back to the very first pages of the Old Testament where we are given a glimpse of God’s thoughts and longings as he designed the first man and woman.

I understand some of you may hold to beliefs other than a literal creation. I respect you in your opinion, but please follow me a few moments as though listening to a story. I’m going somewhere you may not expect.

Yahweh-The-Lord-The-God-of-compassion-and-mercy-I-am-slow-to-anger-and-filled-with-unfailing-love-and-faithfulness.-Exodus-34_6-NLT.jpg

God’s love was portrayed in his choices toward humanity

Nothing was left out as God carefully took earth and sculpted the man’s body from the pattern of his own being, both in image and likeness. As he finished, he placed his mouth over man’s lifeless lips and exhaled God-life into his lungs, and man became a living soul. Later, so the man would have someone like himself, God formed the woman from Adam’s side, for his delight, their mutual enjoyment, and for procreating and ruling his new earth. God stepped back and for a moment viewed his new designs as though looking at a finished masterpiece. The Bible states that “God saw all that he had made and it was very good.”

Questions to ponder as you consider this scene from Genesis one and two:

Are you an artist or designer? Maybe a baker or possibly a writer? Maybe a new mom or dad? If so, what did it feel like when that which was only in your imagination became real?
Relate this to how God must have felt in that moment and those first days of Adam and Eve’s lives. Could there be similarities?
How could the choices God made as he fashioned the man and woman show his love for them?

However, the Bible states that he only spoke the rest of creation into being, period. Only the man and woman were created in his image, and only they received God’s breathe of life making them living souls.

Further questions to ponder:

Even if you believe otherwise if you were God why would you go to all the effort to make something so like you and so different from everything else you had made?
Could it be that all humanity was made with a special place in God’s heart? Could it be that they were made for a different purpose and plan from the rest of creation?
Could it be that God created humanity, including you, in a way to be able to relate and enjoy a relationship filled with his love?

God’s love chose to allow us to choose

With Adam and Eve in mind, God’s love created a garden, unlike anything we’ve ever seen, and placed them in it. He filled it with only good things.

For their protection, he gave them one rule and warning not to eat from the tree called “The Knowledge of Good and Evil.” My paraphrase: I’ve given you every good tree to eat and enjoy, and every flowering plant. But that tree – it’s bad and eating its fruit will kill you.

I imagine some of you are now asking, “If that tree was so bad, why would a loving God include it in his garden? Great question!

It would have been easier and less painful for God had he just programmed humanity like robots to return his love train them to obey his one command. God had every opportunity to do so.

Questions to consider:

In wanting a healthy loving relationship, can you deny the other party the ability to choose or reject you? What is it called when relationships are forced?
Could it be that God’s love provided the forbidden tree to offer the man and woman the freedom of choice?
Could it be that God did so not to force them to love and obey him as God but to offer the man and woman (and therefore all of us) a chosen relationship with him?
However, what is the possible result when offering someone the ability to choose? Have you ever been in the position of being the one rejected? Can you use this experience to relate to how God must have felt as he placed that tree in the garden, knowing what they would choose?

Their choice

Within a short time, the man and woman were shown the beauty and desirability of the forbidden tree by a talking snake and chose to eat from it because they came to believe that a proper choice required them to know all the options. They were told and chose to believe the tree they’d been forbidden to eat from offered things their good God had forgotten to provide.

Before they ate the fruit from this tree, all they’d experienced was God’s goodness. Yet as soon as they ate the forbidden fruit, their newfound knowledge of evil caused them to immediately begin to experience evil and everything that comes with it. Death. Destruction. Pain. Heartache. Brokenness.

Love means even God feels the pain of our choices

The tree was no threat to anyone if left alone. The talking snake was inconsequential as long as it was ignored and they followed God’s loving warning. However, as soon as they disregarded God’s warning and chose their own way, defiance against God caused evil to enter the world, and marred all of God’s creation through its natural consequences. Evil entered humanity’s core and destroyed their desire for God. Like an addict looking for a fix, feeding their passions became their goal as they died inside to all that was holy and good.

We make the same choices daily to disregard God’s warnings and do as we please, with the same effects.

Going our own way as Adam and Eve once did leads us down a road away from knowing, seeing, and being loved by the God who made us. And since all goodness still comes from God, the only way to experience goodness void of the effects of evil is to return to him. For apart from God there is no good thing.

Questions to ponder:

How would you feel if you designed and created a magnificent piece of art, or built a building beyond anything made before, and someone came along and marred it beyond recognition? What would you want to do to them?
Can you use your feelings to relate to how God had every right to feel when Adam and Eve’s choice brought pain and suffering into his pristine, spotless, pain and shame-free world?

Some of you may be asking, “Is that why God gave up on us?” No, friend. God never gave up.

God’s love chose to forgive and restore their relationship

Moments after their devastating choice, God stepped in and decreed that one day a champion would come and set all things right. And no matter how the world or God’s people treated him, throughout the rest of the Old Testament God continued to proclaim the champion was still coming to bring forgiveness and restoration of relationship with God.

And in the proper time, Jesus, God’s son, someone born like us but without rebellion came to fight on our behalf. He came to bring life and light into a very dark world. He lived as God’s representative full of love and faithfulness. He dwelled among his people as God had always wanted. He then gave his life for all who knew they needed rescuing so that we can experience what it’s like to be known, seen, and loved by the God who made us for this very purpose.

For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:23 (NLT)

God’s love longs for you to choose him by reaching out for his Son Jesus. He still offers each of us the choice to choose or reject him with all its consequences. Love must give us a choice.

The Soul Cries Core Values

Love, Commitment, and Relationship bringing Hope. God loves you unconditionally and longs for you to experience the beauty of a committed relationship with him through his Son Jesus. The totality of his Word and the life of his Son is the fullest expression of his passionate love for you.

But he waits until you desire the same with him. Healthy, loving relationships always set boundaries. No one wants to share their intimacy with a third party, and so God won’t be used or taken for granted. Nor will he share you with the evil and rebellion that mar his world daily through our rebellious choices against him.

However, if you at some point wish to begin a loving relationship with God, your commitment to seek him above all else will unleash powerful lavish gifts for you to experience with him. And some of his greatest gifts will be to empower, strengthen, and give you hope as he walks with you through this world’s pain.

May I please pray for you?

Dear Lord, I come to you on behalf of this dear one. You see their pain and you care about every tear they’ve cried silently in the darkness of their own space. You see their hopelessness and longing to be embraced right where they are. I ask in Jesus’ name that you meet them where they stand, with whatever questions they have, and let them know that you are real and that you love them beyond compare. Please powerfully express your love to them right now in a way they will comprehend. Thank you, in Jesus’ name, amen.

Your next steps

Ready to take steps toward experiencing God’s love in a relationship with him?

Are you willing to look further into the matter? If so, then a simple conversation with God may go something like this, “God, if you’re real, give me a reason to live and I’ll serve you.” Many years ago my husband prayed such a prayer as he contemplated suicide. He later stated that instantly he was filled with peace and knew God was real and had heard his cry. It radically changed his life forever.

And so you know, one of our free resources, a very short Bible study about building healthy relationships with God and people (with short Bible passages and questions similar to the ones you found here) can be obtained for free through a subscription to the monthly newsletter. Head over to the home page to click the link entitled Resources.

You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. CS Lewis

Want to dialogue further about your questions and doubts?

If you aren’t yet ready to commit to anything with God but would like to discuss your questions and doubts, there are several ways in which we can dialogue. Throughout the website, there are ways to contact me through email. You also may leave a comment at the end of this post and I can get back to you. I’d love to begin a chat about any questions and doubts. It’s a safe place here. We will offer the truth, but we force no one. God gave us all the gift of choice, and we honor that.

You will always be respected and honored, because God’s love for you is as real today as it was when he made you.