Am I Listening to the Right Voices?
I’m learning the hard way that listening for the approval of people while listening to the accusations in my head is maddening!
Am I listening for the approval of others?
I’ve been a people pleaser my whole life, listening and hoping for their approval. I’m the one who notices every facial expression, and every look. I’ve been the one who wonders if the person who just walked into the room is disgruntled because of something I may have done to displease them. I’ve been this way my whole life, and I’m beginning to realize it has become like a python wringing the life out of me.
I know I’m not alone. About a year ago I had a conversation with someone who exclaimed, “All girls want is to control you.” I expressed that I too was a girl and didn’t have such designs for him. I then stated that I knew plenty of “girls” who didn’t have that as their number one goal in life. I suggested that maybe his ideas about “all girls” only indicated who he was listening to, who he hung around, and the kind of music and social media presence he chose to listen to.
Am I listening to voices that drag me down?
- Unrealistic social media clips that scream that everyone else’s life is far better than mine
- People who act as though my only worth is in meeting their excessive expectations and increasing demands
- Those in life who ascribe worth based solely upon my sexual performance
- Bosses who demand more and more despite excessive workload and extreme overtime
- The inner voices of the past who proclaimed I’m worthless
- The religion that exclaims my value comes by checking off the religious “to-do” list
- The inner coach who proclaims I will never be good enough, never be successful enough, because nothing I do is ever enough
- That online bully who won’t go away
- The daily newsclips that makes me depressed, anxious, and fearful
- The experiences of the past that say that it’s too late, too horrible, too evil
I’ve found a voice worth listening to
The only voice I’ve found powerful enough to quiet the other voices is the voice of my heavenly Daddy. In the last few weeks, I’m learning how to better listen to his voice and silence the others. I no longer feel crazy inside.
I was recently recommended an app that has greatly impacted who I listen to. Late last week, I was given an exercise using Psalm 23. I was asked to use the phrases and sentences in the Psalm to search for Jesus’ heart for me as I shared my heart with him.
As you read, please be honest with God. Modify the prayer to fit you.
An invitation to silence all the other voices and be heard by the God who listens
An exercise in honestly listening and being listened to using Psalm 23
The Lord is my shepherd, he provides for every need so I don’t lack anything.
God, I’m not yet certain I need a shepherd. I have so many questions about you. But I do know I lack a whole lot of things like peace, hope, joy, and a sense of being loved and valued for who I am. I’ve listened to a whole lot of people and can’t seem to find any of these things, at least not in a way that lasts very long. If you are listening, would you please show me who you are, and why you value me? Would you show me how to have your peace? Would you give me hope?
He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet streams, he restores my soul.
Life is chaotic. The accusing and competing voices I’ve been listening to are too loud. I need safe spaces and quietness inside. I need peace and calm in my soul. If you are listening, would you please quiet the other voices so I can hear yours?
He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
No matter what I do, I never feel like I please anyone, let alone you. The accusing voices are driving me mad. Yet your word says that Jesus did everything right on my behalf and that he paid for my rebellion so I can be made right with you. If you are able to redeem me from the accusing voices I’ve listened to, would you please?
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me. Your rod and staff comfort me.
Life is hard and I’ve been through a lot of horrible stuff. God, did you see it all? Did you care about it all? If you did, would you show me where you were when I faced all this? Would you reveal your love and heart to me in the face of all I’ve been through? Please. I need your comfort. I need to see you are truly able and powerful to take care of all I face in life. I’m listening. I also need to know if you are listening as well.
You prepare a table for me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil. My cup overflows.
I have plenty of enemies, and to be honest they are overwhelming and beyond my capability to protect myself. If you can pull off offering me a feast as they look on, unable to do anything about it, I’m ready. I’m famished and so thirsty for something in life worth living for. I need your healing ointment. I’m so tired.
Surely goodness and kindness shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in God’s house forever.
Are you claiming that f I allow you to shepherd me, that goodness and kindness will follow me the rest of my life? There isn’t much goodness or kindness left in the world I live in. I’m not even sure I know what goodness or kindness feel like. If that is true, then please show me your kindness. Show me your goodness.
You also offer me the opportunity to live in your house forever? I’ve never felt like I belong anywhere; so, if you, the God of heaven, are offering me a safe place in your peaceful home forever, it’s beyond anything I can fathom. I long to follow a shepherd who can grant such magnificent promises. Reveal yourself to me. Reveal the reality of your promises to me, please.
An invitation to explore a relationship
Throughout the Bible God has used the picture of sheep and a shepherd because the people of the day were shepherds and farmers. They understood the beautiful relationship between the shepherd and his sheep. They could pick out a good shepherd from the bad ones by how well the shepherd cared for his sheep. They also understood how vulnerable sheep were, how defenseless they were without a good shepherd. We too are defenseless on our own against the evil we face in the world. Jesus offers to be a good shepherd to you. The invitation is yours, the choice is also yours. If you wish to converse with him about it, use the idea of Psalm 23 above and tell him so. He hears you very well and has longed a very long time for that conversation.
If you need someone to listen
If you want to talk more, I’ve modified the contact information to require only a name and email. I’m learning. I’d be very glad to listen.
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