In ancient times, most of the known world rejected God. It hadn’t always been that way, but that’s a story for another day. God had created humanity for communion with him, and so invited a people to come out of their chosen idolatries and enter into a relationship with him. He promised to care for, defend, ardently love, and prosper them if they would devote themselves to him as he devoted himself to them. As he had vowed to care for and love them, they vowed to give him their total devotion as well. Yet, over the centuries, although God kept his end of the vow, they did not.
In the Bible, God likened this vow with his people to an intimately loving marriage, and made this agreement with them as a solemn vow, or covenant. Even though God did protect them, provide lavishly for them, and love them with a forever love, they often wanted to be like all the other nations and do as they wished but still reap the benefits of God’s heart toward them and the vow they shared.
God warned them over and over not to reject his love but to return to him. Yet over and over they chose other lovers and then pretended that these lovers had been the providers all God had lavishly given them. Their commitment broken over and over, God eventually gave them over to their lovers, in this case the country of Babylon who battered and cruelly broke them.
God’s heart was that they return to him and to the covenant they once shared, and so, in the middle of their slavery to their lover Babylon, he offered them hope. A certain hope based on his love for them, and his power to affect change once they chose to return to him.
As his own people languished in slavery to Babylon seventy years, they remembered what God had done for them, and how he had loved and cared for them. Their hearts warmed, as they envisioned his past mercies. Such memories comforted them as they faced reality. During this time, someone penned the following verses, recorded in the Bible, as God offered them his love and hope in the middle of all they faced.
Maybe you relate. I know I do.
How you and I fit into God’s hope story
This same God offers each of us the same hope by offering us the same opportunity to return to him. He offers us a plan of restoration, just as he offered his people so long ago. A man named Paul clearly laid out the reality of our choices:
The prophet Joel also gives us our remedy:
Maybe you once cried out to God in your pain, yet your requests seemed to vanish into thin air. The God of the universe heard, but is not a Santa Claus who forever gives without expectation. He wants you in all your brokenness. He wants to bring you to himself and offer you all he offered his people so long ago, with the same vow. You don’t need to clean yourself up first. You can’t. But he can clean you up and give you a life you could never have imagined on your own. I know.
I have discovered that what he offers is far and above all I could ever give him. His hope realized is a life of purpose and identity with a love no man can offer.
GOD OFFERS YOU THE SAME HOPE
Let me end this post with a song that beautifully expresses the hope I have found, and the hope God offers you through Jesus. The first lines of the lyrics exclaim:
How great the chasm that lay between us
How high the mountain I could not climb
In desperation, I turned to heaven
And spoke Your name into the night
Then through the darkness, Your loving-kindness
Tore through the shadows of my soul
The work is finished, the end is written
Jesus Christ, my living hope
God’s offer stands. The choice is yours. He’s just waiting for you to decide – go your own way and hope it works well eventually, or go with Jesus and receive a living hope you could never have imagined, despite what goes on around you.
May I pray for you?
Lord, you see and hear the cries of this dear one. You see their desperation. Reveal Jesus to them. Show yourself loving and compassionate beyond their imaginations. Give them they hope they long for, through Jesus Christ, for you are more loving and compassionate than they could ever imagine. In Jesus’ name, amen.
To grow in a new relationship with Jesus, and/or to find help in your pain, click this link for resources
Dear one, it may seem like you are solitary in your grief and pain, but I can assure you that you are seen, and there is someone who has already felt your sorrow and carried the weight you bear.
Yet it was our grief he bore, our sorrows that weighed him down. And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God, for his own sins! But he was wounded and bruised for our sins. He was beaten that we might have peace; he was lashed—and we were healed!We—every one of us—have strayed away like sheep! We, who left God’s paths to follow our own. Yet God laid on him the guilt and sins of every one of us! Isaiah 53:4-6 (TLB)
That loss that led you to unimaginable grief – God sees and whispers, “I welcome you to come close. Let me comfort you. My son, Jesus, came and gave his life so you no longer have to grieve alone without hope.”
Those words that cut you to the core and left shame in their wake – Jesus heard them and defies them with, “I made you; you are mine. Come to me in your weariness and brokenness and I will give you rest. Let me reveal to you the love through which I view you, and you will discover the masterpiece I formed in your mother’s womb. You are not forgotten or garbage to me. Let me show you who you are through my eyes, for you are my beloved.”
The cutting that no longer dulls the pain as it once did but only deepens the scars that mark both your body and soul – Jesus cries out to you, “I let them whip and cut me so you no longer need to cut yourself. Let me bear your unbearable pain. Let me enter your darkest places with you and reveal my heart for you within that place, and show you my power to restore light and hope, for you are mine.”
The shame and guilt that becomes weightier the longer you hide what you’ve done, or what another has done against you. Jesus lived, died, and arose to restore the life and hope shame and guilt have stolen from you. You have born the pain far too long. Jesus paid the penalty for that which you have no ability to cleanse yourself from. He knows. He cares. He loves you more lavishly than you could ever imagine. He alone has the power to remove the stain of your sin and the sins others stained you with. He can cleanse you and make you whiter than snow.
Jesus meets me daily in my grief and pain
Over sixteen years ago I buried my husband of twenty-five years after two years battling lung cancer. He suffocated to death, basically. Pain still pulsates through me when I think about it. Six months before his death I began having panic attacks. What they were I didn’t know, but they were horrific. It took years to become free from them.
Since his death, my life is completely different, and nothing I ever would have imagined.
Before his illness and death, Norman and I were raising our special needs son with non-verbal autism and mood disorder. We adopted Rick* at five, and he really never accepted me as his third mom. He’d been around this adoption thing before and so figured at some point his life would eventually turn upside down again. Norman was the steady one, and accepting him seemed to come more naturally for Rick. Rick often enjoyed playing control games with me more than Norman, so Norman’s illness and death only led to escalations that I could no longer easily control. After Norman’s death, I couldn’t care for Rick alone as it wasn’t safe for either of us. In my wildest dreams I never imagined having to remove Rick from our home. Despite the challenges, he was our son and we loved him dearly. The process was horrific and the trauma to both of us was tremendous.
After sixteen years, Rick still lives in a group home. Our relationship is better than it has ever been as we’ve both healed and grown a lot through those years. However, the pain and grief still linger in spaces I can’t fix. We’ve grown but both walk with a limp.
I remarried twelve years ago to a wonderful man who also lost his wife after six years of severe, in-and-out of the hospital illnesses. Gary’s two boys were also adopted from traumatic circumstances. His youngest was only six when his adoptive mom became ill and almost died the first time. She died three days before his twelfth birthday. I became third mom once again. Rejection became “normal” because who in their right mind would readily accept a third mom they didn’t want in the first place. Gary’s boys are now grown and on their own and we have a much better relationship, but they too still show signs of the pain and loss. We all do. It has taken years for each of us to find a new normal, and some of us are able to do that more easily than others. Our sons find it the hardest as their lives have been in hard places too many times with too many broken relationships to fully trust again.
Gary and I have been in ministry for the last three of our twelve years together. He pastors a small multicultural congregation of Jesus followers in the southwest. It’s a life I never dreamed of, but it’s exactly where I want to be. It’s very difficult at times as the cultural differences are still something we always must work through. We still have so much to learn. But what we’ve been through has been used by God more times than I can imagine to pour out his love on people who have experienced, sometimes, more brokenness than we have. I guess what I’ve learned as I’ve walked through all this is that Jesus understands and calls me to his embrace over and over. It’s hard to explain what his embrace and presence feel like, but it’s like smelling peonies and hearing lullabies, and walking into the homiest house I can imagine full of all things warm and welcoming. During the hardest and not so hard, I have also been amazed at how he can pull off a miracle in my life, circumstance, or in another life when I just let go and let him do his thing in and through me.
What is your story?
On what type of journeys have grief and pain taken you? I have so much to learn, and am very willing to learn from my readers. If you would like to begin a dialogue, so we can learn from one another, please leave a comment and tell me a bit of your story. Also, please subscribe to get these posts when they come out. Since I last wrote, I continue to change how I view this blog, and want you, my reader, to play a part in what happens here.
Please, may I pray for you before we say “goodbye” for today? Lord, this precious one who has read this far, meet them in their need. May they be willing to take the chance that if they cry out to you for help, and are willing to yield to your gentle care, you will answer. You’ve answered me a million times in ways I could never deny either your existence or your compassion. Reveal yourself to them in this moment. Please. In Jesus’ name, amen.
This song shares Jesus’ heart for you better than I can
The writer and singer has his own story of grief and pain. Look it up. It may encourage you as well as it has me.
Should you wish to read a bit more about my grief journey
Do you long to be loved because you are known, and not because someone only wants something from you?
Before my first husband passed, one of the last things he said to me was, “I wish we had more time to get to know one another.” We’d been married just over twenty-five years, but to me his words meant the world. We had both loved one another but often spent more time assuming what we knew than sitting down and becoming known.
Is there anyone who will take the time to really know me?
Too many in the religious world assume we know someone by their surroundings, their actions, or the way they think and respond. For too long I judged the same. I’m grateful Jesus doesn’t. Jesus knows all that’s happened that led you to where you are today. He knows why you think the way you do, and the turmoil that causes you to cry out to really be known and loved, way down deep. Without the judgement.
He remembers all the times you thought love finally arrived only to experience it was just another cheap shot by someone who only wanted to use you.
The story of the woman who had only been known by her failures
There’s a story in the Bible about a woman whom Jesus insisted on meeting, although he knew his fellow Jews, and even his own disciples would frown. She wasn’t even someone her own people wanted to associate with. She felt alone, unknown, and unloved.
The Bible states that Jesus went out of his way to meet this unnamed woman. He knew she’d be at the well, alone, battling the heat. He also knew why she chose this unusual time of day. He waited by the well until after his disciples left to get some lunch as he wanted to speak with her alone. He knew his disciples were discovering who he was and why he came, but also knew they had so far to go. They wouldn’t understand, and so he sat alone, waiting for her to arrive.
She sauntered toward the well wrapped up in her own thoughts. Suddenly she noticed the man sitting quietly and so cautiously walked toward the well, approaching as though she were a deer looking for a trap. She’d never seen this man before, and she could tell by his dress and demeanor that he was a Jew. Jews hated Samaritans, and she didn’t even consider herself an upstanding Samaritan. Yet she had to draw from the well for her day’s needs, so she guessed she’d have to deal with whatever this man dished out.
Jesus knew all the details but refused to condemn her
She expected curses and hate-filled words, for even a Jewish man would understand why she was there so late in the day. Yet, his first remarks were kindly asking her for a drink. She instantly shot back, “Why would a Jew ask a Samaritan for anything? We all have no questions about what you Jews think of us Samaritans. Nor do we have better to say about Jews.”
Jesus replied, “If you only knew the gift God has for you and who you are speaking to, you would ask me, and I would give you living water.”
“But sir, you don’t have a rope or a bucket,” she said, “and this well is very deep. Where would you get this living water?And besides, do you think you’re greater than our ancestor Jacob, who gave us this well? How can you offer better water than he and his sons and his animals enjoyed?”
Jesus replied, “Anyone who drinks this water will soon become thirsty again.But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.”
“Please, sir,” the woman said, “give me this water! Then I’ll never be thirsty again, and I won’t have to come here to get water.”
Jesus then responded in a way that totally caught the woman off-guard.
“Go and get your husband,” Jesus told her.
“I don’t have a husband,” the woman replied.
Jesus said, “You’re right! You don’t have a husband—for you have had five husbands, and you aren’t even married to the man you’re living with now. You certainly spoke the truth!”
Jesus knows you don’t need another religion
Stunned, the woman replied that Jesus must be a prophet, because he knew things no stranger would know. Suddenly she realized that if he was truly a Jewish prophet, he would be able to answer her long-held questions about why there was such a divide between the Jews and Samaritans. Jesus knew her questions were valid, but chose not to debate with her. His purpose for meeting her wasn’t to hound her to accept the Jewish religion, or to debate whether her religious beliefs were right or wrong. Rather, he wanted to offer her a new way of life not based on certain religious dogma, but upon a relationship with the God who made her and knew her all along.
[Jesus answered] “…God is Spirit, so those who worship him must worship in spirit and in truth.”
The woman said, “I know the Messiah is coming—the one who is called Christ. When he comes, he will explain everything to us.”
Then Jesus told her, “I am the Messiah!” [The one whom God promised would come for the purpose of setting captives free.]
The woman was so excited that she left her water jar behind and ran back to the village to tell her fellow Samaritans,
“Come and see a man who told me everything I ever did! Could he possibly be the Messiah?”
Jesus knows every battle you’ve fought
I too, like this woman have met Jesus, the one who knows everything I am and loves me anyway. And like this woman, I have also experienced his power to uncover my shame and free me from guilt’s hold by his lavish love. I can without question tell you that Jesus longs to visit you where you are. He’s willing to meet you in your
Rejection, and offer you a place in his forever family
Loneliness, and fill you with a belonging you have never experienced
Questions, and offer you a life you may not yet understand, but a good life beyond your current comprehension
Anger, and grant you healing
prison cell – whether physical, emotional, or spiritual, and extend to you his key to freedom, without the hangover, the aftermath, or the numbing
He’s not put off by your surroundings, your (fill in the blank), or your past. He’s madly in love with you and offers you a place of standing in his kingdom of light, right now, if you will turn to him and give it all to him. It’s as simple as asking him to give you the power to turn from your current state and make you new. At that very instant, you will become a member of his kingdom, for he turns no one away. Ever.
May I pray for you? Dear Lord, I may not know this one who’s reading, but you do. You know everything about them, and you love them extravagantly. May they in this moment experience your love and power to free them from from their dark place into your amazing light. You are so good and kind, and I ask they would feel your presence right now. Draw them to yourself, as you have a million time drawn me in my pain. I also ask, that if they choose to come to you, that you would lead them to others who’ve experienced your gifts to teach them. Thank you. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Here is a song I recently discovered that may bless you today:
Our world regularly decries the God of the Bible as at least a myth, and at most a monster, begging the question, “Why would anyone choose the Bible?” This article takes the stories of those who chose to follow the God of the Bible despite the odds.
NATIVE AMERICANS CHOOSE JESUS CHRIST DESPITE PERSECUTION
My husband pastors a small rural church comprised of mostly Native American followers of Jesus. They choose to follow Jesus Christ despite generations of oral stories proclaiming the atrocities of being forced to convert to “Christianity”. This time no one forced them.
Some congregation members tell stories about a time prior to choosing to follow Jesus. They readily joined in with family members who mocked those who followed Jesus Christ. Years later, finding no hope themselves, they too cried out to Jesus and discovered why their relatives had been willing to endure persecution for their faith. They too now suffer willingly for their faith in Christ.
Why would people choose to leave their Native religion and face persecution to follow Jesus Christ?
A YOUNG MAN CONTEMPLATING SUICIDE EXPERIENCES INSTANT TRANSFORMATION
As a child, my husband’s parents would send him and his siblings to church but they didn’t attend. There he would hear about the love of Jesus that included the realities of hell. Once he got into high school, however, he stopped attending church regularly, rejecting all he’d been taught as a child.
At the age of nineteen, a severe breakup with his fiancé left him suicidal. He recalls that those Sunday School stories of hell kept him from driving into bridge abutments “moments before steal hit concrete”.
Unable to find relief, in desperation he finally cried out to God, “If you’re real, just give me a reason to live and I’ll do anything for you!” Instantly he felt an overwhelming peace. He soon found a Bible-believing church who loved and taught him the Word. He grew in his faith and eventually went into the ministry.
How could someone’s life be so dramatically changed in an instant?
POST TRAUMA, FILLED WITH QUESTIONS, HE CHOOSES GOD AGAIN
My husband and his first wife spent twenty-six years together in ministry. In their twentieth year of marriage, his wife’s health began to deteriorate, and after six years of illness she passed away one night while he was at work. He found her the next morning, his boys waking to him screaming her name over and over as he attempted to revive her with CPR.
Having seen people miraculously healed throughout their years of ministry, he strongly believed she too would be healed. So when she passed, he experienced intense doubt and questions to the point that he left the ministry. Although he struggled with feelings of abandonment by God, he now states that he also found solace in spending time with God through prayer and worship.
Two years after her death, and four years after the death of my first husband, Gary and I were married.
Years later Gary realized that as her health failed and his workload intensified, he spent far less time in God’s Word, the Bible, which contributed to his “crisis of faith”. He now believes that had he spent more time with God’s Word back then, his crisis of faith would not have been as severe. Not because God was angered, but because he now realizes that his time with the Lord may have strengthened him during those extremely difficult year after her death.
A year ago, God opened a door for us to return to ministry. Gary now readily proclaims that although he still has questions, serving God fulfills him as much as it did before his family’s trauma.
Why would someone who’s endured such trauma choose to serve God after all they’ve been through?
WHY I DAILY CHOOSE TO FOLLOW JESUS
My life experiences have included:
Feeling desperately alone as a teenager
Losing my rock and comfort of twenty-five years of marriage to cancer at forty-eight years of age
Experiencing intense loneliness while raising a child with autism and mood disorder
I experienced such feelings of loss and depression in my pre-teen years, that had I not already known Jesus, I wouldn’t have made it. I have often said that without Jesus I would have either committed suicide, ended up on drugs, or flung myself at any man that came along. Throughout the loneliness that wracked the years I raised our son with autism, and then through the pain of losing my husband, I also was able to remain steady through the peace and presence of God. Had Jesus not chosen me as a child to walk with him, and had I not chosen throughout life to continue to walk with him despite the intense pain, I would have a very different life now. I seldom deal with depression and anxiety. I feel fulfilled. I continue to grow in my relationship with the God who loves and cares for me.
God longs for you to experience the transformed life through Jesus Christ that we have found. A life worth living despite the trials and struggles. I would even say that if this interests you at all, he’s calling you to cry out to him for help.
Maybe you’ve cried out to God before, to no avail. Would you now be willing to yield as my husband once did when he cried, “God I’ll do anything if you’ll give me a reason to live”? Why not try? If you’re willing to honestly yield as Gary once did proclaiming, “if you’re real, give me a reason to live and I’ll do anything you ask” God will listen and respond. Jesus said so right here:
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Wish to read more about this Jesus and my story with him? Here are a couple more articles to consider:
I have also written at length about my experiences raising our son in a chapter of “Life Repurposed” by Michelle Rayburn. My story is found on page 123 “God in My Loneliness”.
You may find comfort from this article about Jesus’ interactions with two blind men who desperately wanted their sight.
Christians can too often come across as having it all together. Honestly, it isn’t always because we feel that way, but because we truly want to be “all together”. We fear becoming real. Sometimes it’s because we really do think we’re all together when we aren’t. Here in this space, I will attempt to always try to be real with any who read these pages. I’m not about proving how “good” I am, but how in my hardest I met Jesus and he gave me hope.
We’ve all experienced messy lives
I will share many stories of imperfect people. Stories from the Bible, stories from my own very imperfect life, and stories from others who failed at being “all together”. The point I always want to make is that we don’t need perfection to meet and experience a perfect God. He longs for us to run to him in all our mess and let him love us to whole and hope through his lavish power for us.
SOME OF OUR UNIQUE FEATURES
I want this to be a safe space where you can share your stories, questions, and doubts. Please feel free to do so, as I hope that at some time, you will feel comfortable enough to become known in this space.
This space offers you a variety of means to explore what a relationship with God (void of religion) looks like. He may be very different than you expect.
Music selections that speak to your pain and God’s heart and hope for you.
Blog posts that offer you hope through Bible stories and real-time stories about people who found hope and healing through Jesus.
Resources that allow you to seek answers from experts and scientists in their fields, people far more educated than I am. (I can’t fully vet each resource and all they have written, but I am familiar with each to some extent and so feel comfortable sharing them at this time. Each holds to a biblical view but has the expertise to answer questions in ways I can’t.)
THE SOUL CRIES PODCAST
(As of 10/25 this feature has been turned off indefinitely.) You can find them on Sound Cloud @ “Soul Cries Robin L Seaton”
THE BIBLE’S PLACE HERE
I realize that for some of you, the Bible hasn’t been something you cherish. Maybe someone in your world thumped you one to many times with its words. For some, you’ve read of horrible massacre and hatred, all in the name of the God of the Bible. For many, the people called by God’s name have ripped your heart and your world apart without a thought to what they’ve done. The history of the Christian church is riddled with very imperfect people who have shouted their hatred and cruelty in the name of God and the Bible. In this space, I try to honestly present people as we are – at times very cruel. Yet, I have met a God who is very different from how Christians sometimes represent him. Flawed Christians don’t always represent their God well.
In saying that, I have discovered that the Bible is quite transparent about the flaws of the humans who have represented God throughout history, without God endorsing their actions. It also records his great displeasure at the way he is represented.
The Bible and the life of Jesus Christ recorded in the Bible is the most highly documented record throughout history. If you google the documents that have been discovered, and their historic significance, you will find that no other record in history comes close to the recorded historic documents pointing to the accuracy of the Bible. Thousands throughout history have given their lives because they met and experience the kindness and love of the God of the Bible.
The Bible is a “God-breathed” record of God’s heart and intentions for humanity. It records his story of creating humans in his image and likeness, their rebellion, and his story of drawing them back to himself through Jesus, his son. Also, the Bible, when used by God’s Spirit, powerfully speaks to all cultures through all languages and to all strata of society, unlike any other book in history. One of the Bible’s authors stated, “Our ministry is not based on the letter of the law but through the power of the Spirit. The letter of the law kills, but the Spirit pours out life. That is our aim–to pour out God’s powerful Spirit of life to you.
None who contribute or participate with Soul Cries are licensed professionals unless it is stated clearly that they are, and so any advice is solely from our own personal experience. We are unable to give professional advice, nor do we assert any information we give to be equal to professional advice. We may on occasion interview a professional, and if we do, we will identify them as such.
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