Does Anyone See My Grief and Pain?

Does Anyone See My Grief and Pain?

by | Oct 17, 2024 | Is There Relief for the Pain?, Places for Hope and Healing Resources

Dear one, it may seem like you are solitary in your grief and pain, but I can assure you that you are seen, and there is someone who has already felt your sorrow and carried the weight you bear.

Yet it was our grief he bore, our sorrows that weighed him down. And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God, for his own sins! But he was wounded and bruised for our sins. He was beaten that we might have peace; he was lashed—and we were healed! We—every one of us—have strayed away like sheep! We, who left God’s paths to follow our own. Yet God laid on him the guilt and sins of every one of us! Isaiah 53:4-6 (TLB)

That loss that led you to unimaginable grief – God sees and whispers, “I welcome you to come close. Let me comfort you. My son, Jesus, came and gave his life so you no longer have to grieve alone without hope.”

Those words that cut you to the core and left shame in their wake – Jesus heard them and defies them with, “I made you; you are mine. Come to me in your weariness and brokenness and I will give you rest. Let me reveal to you the love through which I view you, and you will discover the masterpiece I formed in your mother’s womb. You are not forgotten or garbage to me. Let me show you who you are through my eyes, for you are my beloved.”

The cutting that no longer dulls the pain as it once did but only deepens the scars that mark both your body and soul – Jesus cries out to you, “I let them whip and cut me so you no longer need to cut yourself. Let me bear your unbearable pain. Let me enter your darkest places with you and reveal my heart for you within that place, and show you my power to restore light and hope, for you are mine.”

The shame and guilt that becomes weightier the longer you hide what you’ve done, or what another has done against you. Jesus lived, died, and arose to restore the life and hope shame and guilt have stolen from you. You have born the pain far too long. Jesus paid the penalty for that which you have no ability to cleanse yourself from. He knows. He cares. He loves you more lavishly than you could ever imagine. He alone has the power to remove the stain of your sin and the sins others stained you with. He can cleanse you and make you whiter than snow.

Jesus meets me daily in my grief and pain

Over sixteen years ago I buried my husband of twenty-five years after two years battling lung cancer. He suffocated to death, basically. Pain still pulsates through me when I think about it. Six months before his death I began having panic attacks. What they were I didn’t know, but they were horrific. It took years to become free from them.

Since his death, my life is completely different, and nothing I ever would have imagined.

Before his illness and death, Norman and I were raising our special needs son with non-verbal autism and mood disorder. We adopted Rick* at five, and he really never accepted me as his third mom. He’d been around this adoption thing before and so figured at some point his life would eventually turn upside down again. Norman was the steady one, and accepting him seemed to come more naturally for Rick. Rick often enjoyed playing control games with me more than Norman, so Norman’s illness and death only led to escalations that I could no longer easily control. After Norman’s death, I couldn’t care for Rick alone as it wasn’t safe for either of us. In my wildest dreams I never imagined having to remove Rick from our home. Despite the challenges, he was our son and we loved him dearly. The process was horrific and the trauma to both of us was tremendous.

After sixteen years, Rick still lives in a group home. Our relationship is better than it has ever been as we’ve both healed and grown a lot through those years. However, the pain and grief still linger in spaces I can’t fix. We’ve grown but both walk with a limp.

I remarried twelve years ago to a wonderful man who also lost his wife after six years of severe, in-and-out of the hospital illnesses. Gary’s two boys were also adopted from traumatic circumstances. His youngest was only six when his adoptive mom became ill and almost died the first time. She died three days before his twelfth birthday. I became third mom once again. Rejection became “normal” because who in their right mind would readily accept a third mom they didn’t want in the first place. Gary’s boys are now grown and on their own and we have a much better relationship, but they too still show signs of the pain and loss. We all do. It has taken years for each of us to find a new normal, and some of us are able to do that more easily than others. Our sons find it the hardest as their lives have been in hard places too many times with too many broken relationships to fully trust again.

Gary and I have been in ministry for the last three of our twelve years together. He pastors a small multicultural  congregation of Jesus followers in the southwest. It’s a life I never dreamed of, but it’s exactly where I want to be. It’s very difficult at times as the cultural differences are still something we always must work through. We still have so much to learn. But what we’ve been through has been used by God more times than I can imagine to pour out his love on people who have experienced, sometimes, more brokenness than we have. I guess what I’ve learned as I’ve walked through all this is that Jesus understands and calls me to his embrace over and over. It’s hard to explain what his embrace and presence feel like, but it’s like smelling peonies and hearing lullabies, and walking into the homiest house I can imagine full of all things warm and welcoming. During the hardest and not so hard, I have also been amazed at how he can pull off a miracle in my life, circumstance, or in another life when I just let go and let him do his thing in and through me.

What is your story?

On what type of journeys have grief and pain taken you? I have so much to learn, and am very willing to learn from my readers. If you would like to begin a dialogue, so we can learn from one another, please leave a comment and tell me a bit of your story. Also, please subscribe to get these posts when they come out. Since I last wrote, I continue to change how I view this blog, and want you, my reader, to play a part in what happens here.

Please, may I pray for you before we say “goodbye” for today? Lord, this precious one who has read this far, meet them in their need. May they be willing to take the chance that if they cry out to you for help, and are willing to yield to your gentle care, you will answer. You’ve answered me a million times in ways I could never deny either your existence or your compassion. Reveal yourself to them in this moment. Please. In Jesus’ name, amen.

This song shares Jesus’ heart for you better than I can

The writer and singer has his own story of grief and pain. Look it up. It may encourage you as well as it has me.

 

Should you wish to read a bit more about my grief journey

A Church Girl’s Desire to Relate to Doubters, Skeptics, and Atheists, found only on Soul Cries

Jesus cares about your pain and has the power to do something about it

See my servant, whom I uphold; my Chosen One in whom I delight. I have put my Spirit upon him; he will reveal justice to the nations of the world. He will be gentle—he will not shout nor quarrel in the streets. He will not break the bruised reed, nor quench the dimly burning flame. He will encourage the fainthearted, those tempted to despair. He will see full justice given to all who have been wronged. He won’t be satisfied until truth and righteousness prevail throughout the earth, nor until even distant lands beyond the seas have put their trust in him. Isaiah 42:1-4

 

I Just Want To Be Known and Loved

I Just Want To Be Known and Loved

by | Oct 10, 2023 | Is There Relief for the Pain?, Places for Hope and Healing Resources, What Does a Relationship With God Look Like?

Do you long to be loved because you are known, and not because someone only wants something from you?

Before my first husband passed, one of the last things he said to me was, “I wish we had more time to get to know one another.” We’d been married just over twenty-five years, but to me his words meant the world. We had both loved one another but often spent more time assuming what we knew than sitting down and becoming known.

I just want to be known and loved

Jesus looks deeper than what others see

Too many in the religious world assume we know someone by their surroundings, their actions, or the way they think and respond. For too long I judged the same. I’m grateful Jesus doesn’t. Jesus sees all that’s happened that led you to where you are today. In that, he knows why you think the way you do, and the turmoil that causes you to cry out to really be known and loved, way down deep. Without the judgement.

He remembers all the times you thought love finally arrived only to experience it was just another cheap shot by someone who only wanted your body.

Jesus isn’t like all the others

There’s a story in the Bible about a woman whom Jesus insisted on meeting, although he knew his fellow Jews, and even his own disciples would frown. She wasn’t even someone her own people wanted to associate with. She felt alone, unknown, and unloved.

The Bible states that Jesus went out of his way to meet this unnamed woman. He knew she’d be at the well, alone, battling the heat. He also knew why she chose this unusual time of day. He waited by the well until after his disciples left to get some lunch as he wanted to speak with her alone. He knew his disciples were discovering who he was and why he came, but also knew they had so far to go. They wouldn’t understand, and so he sat alone, waiting for her to arrive.

She sauntered toward the well wrapped up in her own thoughts. Suddenly she noticed the man sitting quietly and so cautiously walked toward the well, approaching as though she were a dear awaiting a trap. She’d never seen this man before, and she could tell by his dress and demeanor that he was a Jew. Jews hated Samaritans, and she didn’t even consider herself an upstanding Samaritan. Yet she had to draw from the well for her day’s needs, so she guessed she’d have to deal with whatever this man dished out.

New Mexico mountain scene

Jesus already knows and loves you

She expected curses and hate-filled words, for even a Jewish man would understand why she was there so late in the day. Yet, his first remarks were kindly asking her for a drink. She instantly shot back, “Why would a Jew ask a Samaritan for anything? We all have no questions about what you Jews think of us Samaritans. Nor do we have better to say about Jews.”

Jesus replied, “If you only knew the gift God has for you and who you are speaking to, you would ask me, and I would give you living water.”

“But sir, you don’t have a rope or a bucket,” she said, “and this well is very deep. Where would you get this living water? And besides, do you think you’re greater than our ancestor Jacob, who gave us this well? How can you offer better water than he and his sons and his animals enjoyed?”

Jesus replied, “Anyone who drinks this water will soon become thirsty again. But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.”

 “Please, sir,” the woman said, “give me this water! Then I’ll never be thirsty again, and I won’t have to come here to get water.”

Jesus then responded in a way that totally caught the woman off-guard.

“Go and get your husband,” Jesus told her.

“I don’t have a husband,” the woman replied.

Jesus said, “You’re right! You don’t have a husband—for you have had five husbands, and you aren’t even married to the man you’re living with now. You certainly spoke the truth!”

Jesus isn’t offering you a new religion but a relationship

Stunned, the woman replied that Jesus must be a prophet, because he knew things no stranger would know. Suddenly she realized that if he was truly a Jewish prophet, he would be able to answer her long-held questions about why there was such a divide between the Jews and Samaritans. Jesus knew her questions were  valid, but chose not to debate with her. His purpose for meeting her wasn’t to hound her to accept the Jewish religion, or to debate whether her religious beliefs were right or wrong. Rather, he wanted to offer her a new way of life not based on certain religious dogma, but upon a relationship with the God who made her and knew her all along.

[Jesus answered] “…God is Spirit, so those who worship him must worship in spirit and in truth.”

The woman said, “I know the Messiah is coming—the one who is called Christ. When he comes, he will explain everything to us.”

Then Jesus told her, “I am the Messiah!” [The one whom God promised would come for the purpose of setting captives free.]

The woman was so excited that she left her water jar behind and ran back to the village to tell her fellow Samaritans,

“Come and see a man who told me everything I ever did! Could he possibly be the Messiah?”

New Mexico scene

I too have experienced being loved and known by Jesus

I too, like this woman have met Jesus, the one who knows everything I am and loves me anyway. And like this woman, I have also experienced his power to uncover my shame and free me from it’s hold by his lavish love. I can without question tell you that Jesus longs to visit you where you are. He’s willing to meet you in your

  • Rejection, and offer you a place in his forever family
  • Loneliness, and fill you with a belonging you have never experienced
  • Questions, and offer you a life you may not yet understand, but a good life beyond your current comprehension
  • Anger, and grant you healing
  • prison cell – whether physical, emotional, or spiritual, and extend to you his key to freedom, without the hangover, the aftermath, or the numbing

He’s not put off by your surroundings, your (fill in the blank), or your past. He’s madly in love with you and offers you a place of standing in his kingdom of light, right now, if you will give him your allegiance. It’s as simple as asking him to give you the power to turn from your current state and make you new. At that very instant, you will become a member of his kingdom, for he turns no one away. Ever.

May I pray for you? Dear Lord, I may not know this one who’s reading, but you do. You know everything about them, and you love them extravagantly. May they in this moment experience your love and power to free them from from their dark place into your amazing light. You are so good and kind, and I ask they would feel your presence right now. Draw them to yourself, as you have a million time drawn me in my pain. I also ask, that if they choose to give their allegiance to you, that you would lead them to others who’ve experienced your gifts to teach them. Thank you. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Jesus sees everything about you. He's offering you a new life, in a new way, and relationship with him him truth. He's the King and has the power to change things.

Here is a song I recently discovered that may bless you today:

 

Please feel free to contact me as well.

All the quotes above are from John 4:1-28 (NLT)

A Church Girl’s Desire to Relate with Doubters, Skeptics, and Atheists

A Church Girl’s Desire to Relate with Doubters, Skeptics, and Atheists

by | Jan 29, 2023 | What Does a Relationship With God Look Like?

I’ve been reading a book entitled, “The Doubter’s Club” by Preston Ulmer, and it has made me do a lot of thinking about how I relate to doubters, atheists, and the deeply wounded. I realize that many of those wounds come from the church, making faith-based dialogue something you don’t want to get into. Yet, this book has given me hope that respectful, honest dialogue is possible and even beneficial even when parties disagree. This is an area where I greatly desire to grow and make an impact both in the church and community.

I HAVE A LOT TO LEARN ABOUT HOW TO RELATE WITH THE DEEPLY WOUNDED

My now deceased husband and I adopted our son with autism at five years old. Because of his trauma he has always struggled with his faith. I understand now, but when he was a child I was often clueless about how to relate with him in his pain. One particular conversation is seared into my memory. I read the Bible to him daily, and on one particular day read Psalm 139 and told him, teary-eyed with joy, that God fashioned and knew him intimately. I assumed he would be as comforted as I to hear he wasn’t “a mistake”. However, the revelation that God made him with autism on purpose only made him angry and began his descent from singing “Jesus loves me” to “O how I hate Jesus” much to my grief and dismay.

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.

I THOUGHT I’D COME A LONG WAY, BUT…

I had a conversation on IG over a year ago with an atheist. I was as nervous as all get out because I didn’t want to do something dumb. I was proud of the fact God would entrust me with such an “assignment”. (I told you I have a long way to go.) Our discourse over a few weeks was polite and respectful on both ends. Much to my shame, when he eventually asked, “Is your god powerful?” I assumed he figured I’d never seen God’s power. Delighted to be able to proclaim God’s power, I replied, “Yes, I have found him to be so.” I never heard from him again and took his lack of response to mean, “I didn’t expect that answer, and am dumbfounded.”

However, months later (sometimes I can be dense) I remembered that some of his posts recounted (if I remember correctly) he had been molested during childhood by a trusted church member. Had I been less quick to answer and more desirous to show compassion, I would have realized where he was coming from. “If your god is so powerful, why didn’t he stop this person who called themselves a Christian from doing what they did to me?” In my zeal to proclaim Jesus to an atheist, hoping to wow him with my answers, I failed to see his pain. Even today, my lack of compassion brings me deep sadness.

I don’t believe I won any brownie points. I now realize that my selfish, arrogant motives grieved God because I failed to recognize this man and share in his pain. I failed to respond as Jesus would have, in anger and grief that someone whom he and his family trusted destroyed him in Christ’s name.

I should have grieved with this man. Yet I left him reassured that Christians are jerks and God hates him.

HOW I WISH I HAD RELATED TO THE ATHEIST

So today if I were to have another opportunity to relate with this man, I would do things differently. I would grieve with him for all that was destroyed in those hideous, reckless, thoughtless, selfish acts. I would hope to be quicker toward compassion and slower to answer with statements that would only increase the pain. I would try to see him rather than “an assignment”, Were he reading, I would say, “I’m so sorry for how I treated you. It was shameful and so wrong. Please forgive me.

Were we sitting over coffee, I would weep and rage with him over what happened and grieve how poorly I treated him.

HOW MY SON AND I RELATE NOW

My son is now thirty. He has found some comfort in walking with Christ. Yet, he still understandably struggles with his faith.

He and I continue to have faith discussions, and I now recognize he’s been through so much more than I could ever imagine. He’s a strong young man, and although we continue at times to struggle in our relationship, I’ve learned so much from him. I’ve changed so much because he is in my life, and I’m grateful.

MY DESIRE IS TO RELATE WITH YOU

if you’ve read any posts on this website, you will realize I have a long way to go in relating well to doubters, skeptics, atheists, and those deeply wounded. I’ve written to the Christian audience for a very long time, yet because of my own deeply wounded family members, and needing to work through my own pain, I really want to learn. Reading “The Doubter’s Club” has helped. It’s a start.

My husband and I also made a total life change this past year, and it has offered me the opportunity to relate with many others who are very unlike me. It’s changing my life.

My hope is to have meaningful faith discussions with you, yet I I’m not looking for notches in my Christian belt. I want to build relationships that discuss faith-based topics without discarding people when they disagree. Jesus came for the broken, and unfortunately we in the church have often failed to live that well in the world. I’m sorry. I want to change that.

IN ORDER TO BETTER RELATE

Would you be willing to critique this and any other post you wish? Not to bash me to pieces, please, but to begin dialogue that matters.

What do you think?

Robin

So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it. Colossians 3:12-14 (MSG)

So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.

Colossians 3:12-14 (MSG)

Want to Know Your Purpose, the Bible Tells You

Want to Know Your Purpose, the Bible Tells You

by | Jun 24, 2021 | If There’s a God, What’s He Like?, Why Am I Here?

Have you ever wondered what your purpose for being on earth is? Did you know that God wrote the Bible, in part, to answer that question?

Second post in the series:

WHY WOULD GOD WANT TO SPEAK TO HUMANITY?

About two months ago while packing our car after a hotel stay, a couple crossed the parking lot to meet our dog. During the conversation, the woman stated she had a new puppy named “Nova,” which means “new star.” She then explained she chose that name because she loves astrology.

 

As she spoke, I felt the nudging of the Holy Spirit to pray with them, and let them know that the God who made the stars loves them deeply. As the conversation ended, I asked permission to pray, and she heartily agreed. I then prayed as I had been led.

 

As I finished praying, I saw tears roll down her partner’s face as he commented, “That the prayer affected me deeply.” He then added almost apologetically, “Don’t get me wrong, I believe in a higher power, but I’ve never taken much time to think about it.” I then asked, “But if there is a higher power who made you, don’t you think it would be of great importance to find out if there’s something he wants to communicate to you?” He agreed it would be.

Are you someone who:

  • believes in a higher power, but have never thought beyond that belief to what it means for you?
  • looks at the world and wonders if there’s someone out there who sees and cares about the world’s pain?
  • hopes that you are more than a random combination of chemicals and synapses while questioning if you have a purpose for existing?

Maybe you’ve never entertained such questions, but are you someone who:

  • believe in UFO?
  • spends hours a day playing video games that include deities with super-human powers?
  • enjoys “fantasy” that includes gods, angels, and demons that have other-worldly capabilities.

If you answer “yes” to any of the above, then may I ask what hinders you from envisioning the reality of a God who powerfully exists and desires to communicate something of great importance to you?

God, why am I here?

THE BIBLE IS THE ONLY BOOK THAT FULLY AND COMPLETELY EXPRESSES…

 

GOD’S PURPOSE FOR HUMANITY’S EXISTENCE

The first pages of the Old Testament book of Genesis allude to the purpose for which God created humanity:

Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness….”

Genesis 1:26 (ESV) Emphasis mine

Looking at the original Hebrew for this verse, we discover it means that God created us to represent and model him. (Hebrew for image: tselem, is masculine, and means a representative figure; Hebrew for likeness: damah, is feminine and means similar to or modeled after).

Since God created us to represent and model him, it makes sense then to assume that later verses might outline how and when we are to represent him.

HOW GOD MADE US TO REPRESENT AND MODEL HIM

In Genesis 1:26-31 the Bible expresses three ways in which we are to represent and model God:

In wielding power:

Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” Genesis 1:26 (ESV)

God tasked humanity alone with dominion over his creation. That means we are to model and represent God accurately in any arena where we have authority whether it be in our jobs, homes, communities, or relationships.

Questions to ponder…

  • How can we model and represent God accurately in these areas if we don’t know him personally?
  • If we’ve never taken the time to figure out how he would do things, how can we have dominion over God’s world and treat it as he would?

Jesus himself claimed to be God and represent him in all areas of his life. Therefore, in looking at Jesus’ life, we see how God wields his power. (John 14:8-10, Matthew 20:25-27, Philippians 2:5-11) Do these verses express a different view of God and power than you’ve envisioned? If so, how?

Because I made you for a beautiful purpose, God

Through our gender:

So God created man in his own image,in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27 (ESV)

Questions to ponder…

  • How clear is God about the division of gender?
  • Could it be through both male and female genders that God is best represented? I think the scriptures bear this out:

The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. Psalm 103:13 (NLT) (father in Hebrew: ab, masculine)

As a mother comforts her child, so will I (God) comfort you; and you will be comforted over Jerusalem. Isaiah 66:13 (NIV) (mother in Hebrew: em, feminine)

  • Is it possible that God’s purposes for us are best fulfilled when we function within the DNA designation we were born with?

What if you long to identify with your genetic DNA but feel unable? If this describes you, then I recommend www.changedmovement.com. There you can meet people who have found change possible through a relationship with Jesus Christ. You may also wish to listen to Rachel Gilson’s story. She speaks with great compassion and empathy toward those struggling with their gender DNA.

If that’s not where you are there’s no condemnation here. But I would be remiss if I didn’t allow those who want change to know there is hope.

God, why don't I see that purpose?

In our sexuality and in raising our children:

And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

Note that God’s purposes are not only for the first man and woman but to all who would come after them, including us. God’s purposes are unchanging.

To fully understand God’s intentions for our sexuality we must also read Genesis 2:15-25 and other Bible passages such as Ephesians 5 (relationships in general); Ephesians 5 (marriage relationships); Ephesians 6 (relationships between parents and children). Also, if you have never read the Old Testament book, “Song of Solomon,” I’d highly recommend it. It’s a dialogue between two lovers, from early courtship through maturing marriage. It’s graphic enough you don’t want your kids reading it.

These passages all point to a God who is deeply concerned about our representation of him in these areas, for several reasons:

  1. Our sexuality is to express God’s beautiful, sacrificial love for a rebellious world as well as his unwavering commitment to his own people. (1 Corinthians 13; 1 John 4:17-21)
  2. The parent-child relationship is to express God’s commitment to and patience with the children he has adopted into his family. (Romans 8:17)
  3. God’s command to multiply and replenish the earth was given to humanity while their relationship with him was unstained by rebellion. Therefore, God’s command to multiply and replenish the earth equals Jesus’ command to make disciples. (Matthew 28:19-20)

Thoughts to ponder…

  • If you long to represent and model God but don’t know how, would you be willing to talk to God about it, and possibly utilize some of the resources on this website to help you in your endeavors?
  • What if you aren’t married? Whether this is a goal or not, if you have questions about how to best represent and model God in being single, I found Rachel Gilson’s book, Born Again This Way, to be very helpful.)

Get to know me through my Word and Spirit and you will. God

OUR UTTER DEPENDENCE UPON GOD:

And God said, “Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food.And to every beast of the earth and to every bird of the heavens and to everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every green plant for food.” And it was so. And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. Genesis 1:26-31 (ESV)

These additional verses are extremely helpful in seeing the truth of our dependency: Hebrews 1:3, Acts 17:28, Colossians 1:17, Matthew 5:44-45

WHAT WOULD GOD’S PURPOSE LOOK LIKE FOR ME?

Everyone is uniquely made and gifted by God. How would your unique gifting and abilities look if you fully yielded them to God’s grand purpose to represent and model him to a very hurting world? Do you think yielding yourself to his design would make a difference? Why or why not?

Blessings, dear one.

Robin

WANT TO SEE OTHER POSTS IN THIS SERIES?

Post One: The Bible – Historic? Or a Direct Communication

What Do You Mean, ‘God Loves You?’

What Do You Mean, ‘God Loves You?’

by | Apr 13, 2021 | If There’s a God, What’s He Like?, Is There Relief for the Pain?, Podcast Points

Blog post from the podcast transcript of episode 002

During the first episode of the podcast, I often referred to God’s love for you as one of our core beliefs. Yet it dawned on me that many of you may struggle with the idea that God loves you, much less wants a relationship with you. The pain of life and the traumas of existence have left you feeling both unloved and unheard.

WHAT WE MEAN WHEN WE TALK ABOUT GOD’S LOVE

When looking at God’s love, surprisingly we can go back to the very first pages of the Old Testament where we are given a glimpse of God’s thoughts and longings as he designed the first man and woman.

I understand some of you may hold to beliefs other than a literal creation. I respect you in your opinion, but please follow me a few moments as though listening to a story. I’m going somewhere you may not expect.

Yahweh-The-Lord-The-God-of-compassion-and-mercy-I-am-slow-to-anger-and-filled-with-unfailing-love-and-faithfulness.-Exodus-34_6-NLT.jpg

God’s love was portrayed in his choices toward humanity

Nothing was left out as God carefully took earth and sculpted the man’s body from the pattern of his own being, both in image and likeness. As he finished, he placed his mouth over man’s lifeless lips and exhaled God-life into his lungs, and man became a living soul. Later, so the man would have someone like himself, God formed the woman from Adam’s side, for his delight, their mutual enjoyment, and for procreating and ruling his new earth. God stepped back and for a moment viewed his new designs as though looking at a finished masterpiece. The Bible states that “God saw all that he had made and it was very good.”

Questions to ponder as you consider this scene from Genesis one and two:

  1. Are you an artist or designer? Maybe a baker or possibly a writer? Maybe a new mom or dad? If so, what did it feel like when that which was only in your imagination became real?
  2. Relate this to how God must have felt in that moment and those first days of Adam and Eve’s lives. Could there be similarities?
  3. How could the choices God made as he fashioned the man and woman show his love for them?

However, the Bible states that he only spoke the rest of creation into being, period. Only the man and woman were created in his image, and only they received God’s breathe of life making them living souls.

Further questions to ponder:

  1. Even if you believe otherwise if you were God why would you go to all the effort to make something so like you and so different from everything else you had made?
  2. Could it be that all humanity was made with a special place in God’s heart? Could it be that they were made for a different purpose and plan from the rest of creation?
  3. Could it be that God created humanity, including you, in a way to be able to relate and enjoy a relationship filled with his love?

God’s love chose to allow us to choose

With Adam and Eve in mind, God’s love created a garden, unlike anything we’ve ever seen, and placed them in it. He filled it with only good things.

For their protection, he gave them one rule and warning not to eat from the tree called “The Knowledge of Good and Evil.” My paraphrase: I’ve given you every good tree to eat and enjoy, and every flowering plant. But that tree – it’s bad and eating its fruit will kill you.

I imagine some of you are now asking, “If that tree was so bad, why would a loving God include it in his garden? Great question!

It would have been easier and less painful for God had he just programmed humanity like robots to return his love train them to obey his one command. God had every opportunity to do so.

Questions to consider:

  1. In wanting a healthy loving relationship, can you deny the other party the ability to choose or reject you? What is it called when relationships are forced?
  2. Could it be that God’s love provided the forbidden tree to offer the man and woman the freedom of choice?
  3. Could it be that God did so not to force them to love and obey him as God but to offer the man and woman (and therefore all of us) a chosen relationship with him?
  4. However, what is the possible result when offering someone the ability to choose? Have you ever been in the position of being the one rejected? Can you use this experience to relate to how God must have felt as he placed that tree in the garden, knowing what they would choose?

Their choice

Within a short time, the man and woman were shown the beauty and desirability of the forbidden tree by a talking snake and chose to eat from it because they came to believe that a proper choice required them to know all the options. They were told and chose to believe the tree they’d been forbidden to eat from offered things their good God had forgotten to provide.

Before they ate the fruit from this tree, all they’d experienced was God’s goodness. Yet as soon as they ate the forbidden fruit, their newfound knowledge of evil caused them to immediately begin to experience evil and everything that comes with it. Death. Destruction. Pain. Heartache. Brokenness.

Love covers a multitude of sins

Love means even God feels the pain of our choices

The tree was no threat to anyone if left alone. The talking snake was inconsequential as long as it was ignored and they followed God’s loving warning. However, as soon as they disregarded God’s warning and chose their own way, defiance against God caused evil to enter the world, and marred all of God’s creation through its natural consequences. Evil entered humanity’s core and destroyed their desire for God. Like an addict looking for a fix, feeding their passions became their goal as they died inside to all that was holy and good.

We make the same choices daily to disregard God’s warnings and do as we please, with the same effects.

Going our own way as Adam and Eve once did leads us down a road away from knowing, seeing, and being loved by the God who made us. And since all goodness still comes from God, the only way to experience goodness void of the effects of evil is to return to him. For apart from God there is no good thing.

Questions to ponder:

  1. How would you feel if you designed and created a magnificent piece of art, or built a building beyond anything made before, and someone came along and marred it beyond recognition? What would you want to do to them?
  2. Can you use your feelings to relate to how God had every right to feel when Adam and Eve’s choice brought pain and suffering into his pristine, spotless, pain and shame-free world?

Some of you may be asking, “Is that why God gave up on us?” No, friend. God never gave up.

God’s love chose to forgive and restore their relationship

Moments after their devastating choice, God stepped in and decreed that one day a champion would come and set all things right. And no matter how the world or God’s people treated him, throughout the rest of the Old Testament God continued to proclaim the champion was still coming to bring forgiveness and restoration of relationship with God.

And in the proper time, Jesus, God’s son, someone born like us but without rebellion came to fight on our behalf. He came to bring life and light into a very dark world. He lived as God’s representative full of love and faithfulness. He dwelled among his people as God had always wanted. He then gave his life for all who knew they needed rescuing so that we can experience what it’s like to be known, seen, and loved by the God who made us for this very purpose.

For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:23 (NLT)

God’s love longs for you to choose him by reaching out for his Son Jesus. He still offers each of us the choice to choose or reject him with all its consequences. Love must give us a choice.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted,

The Soul Cries Core Values

Love, Commitment, and Relationship bringing Hope. God loves you unconditionally and longs for you to experience the beauty of a committed relationship with him through his Son Jesus. The totality of his Word and the life of his Son is the fullest expression of his passionate love for you.

But he waits until you desire the same with him. Healthy, loving relationships always set boundaries. No one wants to share their intimacy with a third party, and so God won’t be used or taken for granted. Nor will he share you with the evil and rebellion that mar his world daily through our rebellious choices against him.

However, if you at some point wish to begin a loving relationship with God, your commitment to seek him above all else will unleash powerful lavish gifts for you to experience with him. And some of his greatest gifts will be to empower, strengthen, and give you hope as he walks with you through this world’s pain.

May I please pray for you?

Dear Lord, I come to you on behalf of this dear one. You see their pain and you care about every tear they’ve cried silently in the darkness of their own space. You see their hopelessness and longing to be embraced right where they are. I ask in Jesus’ name that you meet them where they stand, with whatever questions they have, and let them know that you are real and that you love them beyond compare. Please powerfully express your love to them right now in a way they will comprehend. Thank you, in Jesus’ name, amen.

Your next steps

Ready to take steps toward experiencing God’s love in a relationship with him?

Are you willing to look further into the matter? If so, then a simple conversation with God may go something like this, “God, if you’re real, give me a reason to live and I’ll serve you.” Many years ago my husband prayed such a prayer as he contemplated suicide. He later stated that instantly he was filled with peace and knew God was real and had heard his cry. It radically changed his life forever.

And so you know, one of our free resources, a very short Bible study about building healthy relationships with God and people (with short Bible passages and questions similar to the ones you found here) can be obtained for free through a subscription to the monthly newsletter. Head over to the home page to click the link entitled Resources.

You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. CS Lewis

Want to dialogue further about your questions and doubts?

If you aren’t yet ready to commit to anything with God but would like to discuss your questions and doubts, there are several ways in which we can dialogue. Throughout the website, there are ways to contact me through email. You also may leave a comment at the end of this post and I can get back to you. I’d love to begin a chat about any questions and doubts. It’s a safe place here. We will offer the truth, but we force no one. God gave us all the gift of choice, and we honor that.

You will always be respected and honored, because God’s love for you is as real today as it was when he made you.