A Church Girl’s Desire to Relate with Doubters, Skeptics, and Atheists

A Church Girl’s Desire to Relate with Doubters, Skeptics, and Atheists

I’ve been reading a book entitled, “The Doubter’s Club” by Preston Ulmer, and it has made me do a lot of thinking about how I relate to doubters, atheists, and the deeply wounded. I realize that many of those wounds come from the church, making faith-based dialogue something you don’t want to get into. Yet, this book has given me hope that respectful, honest dialogue is possible and even beneficial even when parties disagree. This is an area where I greatly desire to grow and make an impact both in the church and community.

I HAVE A LOT TO LEARN ABOUT HOW TO RELATE WITH THE DEEPLY WOUNDED

My now deceased husband and I adopted our son with autism at five years old. Because of his trauma he has always struggled with his faith. I understand now, but when he was a child I was often clueless about how to relate with him in his pain. One particular conversation is seared into my memory. I read the Bible to him daily, and on one particular day read Psalm 139 and told him, teary-eyed with joy, that God fashioned and knew him intimately. I assumed he would be as comforted as I to hear he wasn’t “a mistake”. However, the revelation that God made him with autism on purpose only made him angry and began his descent from singing “Jesus loves me” to “O how I hate Jesus” much to my grief and dismay.

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.

I THOUGHT I’D COME A LONG WAY, BUT…

I had a conversation on IG over a year ago with an atheist. I was as nervous as all get out because I didn’t want to do something dumb. I was proud of the fact God would entrust me with such an “assignment”. (I told you I have a long way to go.) Our discourse over a few weeks was polite and respectful on both ends. Much to my shame, when he eventually asked, “Is your god powerful?” I assumed he figured I’d never seen God’s power. Delighted to be able to proclaim God’s power, I replied, “Yes, I have found him to be so.” I never heard from him again and took his lack of response to mean, “I didn’t expect that answer, and am dumbfounded.”

However, months later (sometimes I can be dense) I remembered that some of his posts recounted (if I remember correctly) he had been molested during childhood by a trusted church member. Had I been less quick to answer and more desirous to show compassion, I would have realized where he was coming from. “If your god is so powerful, why didn’t he stop this person who called themselves a Christian from doing what they did to me?” In my zeal to proclaim Jesus to an atheist, hoping to wow him with my answers, I failed to see his pain. Even today, my lack of compassion brings me deep sadness.

I don’t believe I won any brownie points. I now realize that my selfish, arrogant motives grieved God because I failed to recognize this man and share in his pain. I failed to respond as Jesus would have, in anger and grief that someone whom he and his family trusted destroyed him in Christ’s name.

I should have grieved with this man. Yet I left him reassured that Christians are jerks and God hates him.

HOW I WISH I HAD RELATED TO THE ATHEIST

So today if I were to have another opportunity to relate with this man, I would do things differently. I would grieve with him for all that was destroyed in those hideous, reckless, thoughtless, selfish acts. I would hope to be quicker toward compassion and slower to answer with statements that would only increase the pain. I would try to see him rather than “an assignment”, Were he reading, I would say, “I’m so sorry for how I treated you. It was shameful and so wrong. Please forgive me.

Were we sitting over coffee, I would weep and rage with him over what happened and grieve how poorly I treated him.

HOW MY SON AND I RELATE NOW

My son is now thirty. He has found some comfort in walking with Christ. Yet, he still understandably struggles with his faith.

He and I continue to have faith discussions, and I now recognize he’s been through so much more than I could ever imagine. He’s a strong young man, and although we continue at times to struggle in our relationship, I’ve learned so much from him. I’ve changed so much because he is in my life, and I’m grateful.

MY DESIRE IS TO RELATE WITH YOU

if you’ve read any posts on this website, you will realize I have a long way to go in relating well to doubters, skeptics, atheists, and those deeply wounded. I’ve written to the Christian audience for a very long time, yet because of my own deeply wounded family members, and needing to work through my own pain, I really want to learn. Reading “The Doubter’s Club” has helped. It’s a start.

My husband and I also made a total life change this past year, and it has offered me the opportunity to relate with many others who are very unlike me. It’s changing my life.

My hope is to have meaningful faith discussions with you, yet I I’m not looking for notches in my Christian belt. I want to build relationships that discuss faith-based topics without discarding people when they disagree. Jesus came for the broken, and unfortunately we in the church have often failed to live that well in the world. I’m sorry. I want to change that.

IN ORDER TO BETTER RELATE

Would you be willing to critique this and any other post you wish? Not to bash me to pieces, please, but to begin dialogue that matters.

What do you think?

Robin

So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it. Colossians 3:12-14 (MSG)

So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.

Colossians 3:12-14 (MSG)

WELCOME TO SOUL CRIES

WELCOME TO SOUL CRIES

LET’S GET SOME THINGS OUT IN THE OPEN

None of us are perfect

So, no one here at Soul Cries can point fingers at anyone. We’ve all failed in many ways, and we’re big enough to admit it.

Each of us at Soul Cries has discovered that God isn’t into pointing fingers either. We’ve all experienced in varying measures his lavish love and can attest to the fact he longs to express his love to you as well. Right where you are. But his immense love won’t leave you where you are for long because he wants to give you a life you could never imagine, filled with peace no matter what you face.

But being God, he also requires you to want to know him and not just impersonally beg for his gifts. Like any rational person, he longs for a healthy relationship with you where you seek his best as he gives you his. There’s no such thing as a one-night stand with God.

To summarize this point: We aren’t perfect and God doesn’t expect you to be perfect either. He’s into building relationships and so are we. That’s it.

We’ve all experienced messy lives

None of us at Soul Cries are novices at life. From those being interviewed to those doing the writing, we haven’t led pristine lives so don’t expect the best ten tips for making life rosy. We know better.

Although each of us has experienced different messy places we all have one thing in common, we’ve also experienced the love and power of Jesus Christ, which has changed our lives.

Having said that, we also want you to know we aren’t here to shove anything down your throats. So if you want to hang around a while and just see what we’re all about, you are welcome. And if at some point you wish to dialogue, there will be plenty of places and times to do so, without criticism. Do know, we will tell you the truth, and that truth includes a God who loves you and wants so much more for you than you already experience. We’ll also share with you a God who’s powerfully able and willing to take whatever life has thrown at you and transform it over time into something more beautiful than you could ever imagine.

SOME OF OUR UNIQUE FEATURES

This space is a safe environment where you can share your stories, questions, and doubts with us. Please feel free to do so. That’s why we’re here.

We also offer you a variety of means to explore what a relationship with God void of religion looks like. He may be very different than you expect.

  • Music selections that speak to your pain and God’s heart and hope for you.
  • Blog posts that offer biblical answers and volumes of hope because God is for you.
  • Interviews with others who’ve met Jesus and discovered the power of God in their lives, as well as resources from professionals who’ve met Jesus but can also offer professional help.
  • Resources that allow you to seek answers from experts and scientists in their fields, people far more educated than I am. (I can’t fully vet each resource and all they have written, but I am familiar with each to some extent and so feel comfortable sharing them at this time. Each holds to a biblical view but has the expertise to answer questions in ways I can’t.)

THE SOUL CRIES PODCAST

You can find the podcasts from the home page. You can also find them on Sound Cloud @ “Soul Cries Robin L Seaton”

THE BIBLE’S PLACE HERE

We recognize some have been beaten by the Bible. I’m so sorry as it should never be. We will always attempt to share the Bible with the immense love and compassion for you that was intended by God. Jesus spoke harshly about anyone who misused his Word and caused people to lose their faith in him. He said, “It would be better for them to have a millstone hung about their neck and be thrown into the sea.” We take how we share God’s Word seriously.

In saying that, we also want you to know that God’s Word the Bible matters to us and so will always supersede our personal opinions. For we have found the Bible and the life of Jesus Christ recorded in the Bible to be the most faithful means by which God has expressed his lavish love for us. Also, the Bible, when used by God’s Spirit, powerfully speaks to all cultures through all languages and to all strata of society, unlike any other book in history. One of the Bible’s authors stated, “Our ministry is not based on the letter of the law but through the power of the Spirit. The letter of the law kills, but the Spirit pours out life. That is our aim–to pour out God’s powerful Spirit of life to you.


None of us who contribute to Soul Cries are licensed professionals, and so any advice we may give is solely from our own personal experience. We are unable to give professional advice, nor do we assert any information we give to be equal to professional advice. We may on occasion interview a professional, and if we do, they and we will identify them as such.