Anxiety. That sense of electricity uncontrollably coursing through my body. Feeling like I want to crawl out of my skin but can’t. Agitation I can’t walk away from. It’s tormenting.

In 2007, as I faced my husband’s impending death, anxiety struck the first time like lightning. The storm lasted six to eight years, striking multiple times daily, every day like poor Ned Ryreson reliving Ground Hog Day. It took time to understand what in the world I was experiencing, and that I wasn’t going mad. It also took a lot of time for God to instruct me how to harness anxiety and restore peace.

It’s been a while since I have dealt with anxiety like I did in those days. I’ve experienced small squalls since, but within the last several months, anxiety has tried to batter me once again to where I’ve wanted to crawl under a rock and escape. Once again faithful God is teaching me how to subjugate this beast and restore peace. Since we all have moments when anxiety and fear rage, allow me to share with you pieces of my journey and my transformations to peace.

I’m not a professional but do know anxiety

I have a lot of experience with anxiety over many years, and it is from that pool of experience that I write and remind myself of how far I’ve come.

As I researched this post, I learned of Dr. Caroline Leaf, a Neuroscientist who has spent her career studying the plasticity of the brain. She states that anxiety and its associated emotions aren’t meant to be accepted as “normal” forever, but to be tools to expose areas of our lives needing assistance so we can live healthy lives.

“Your brain cannot change until you accept the anxiety or depression as a signal giving you information on its cause, or origin, and in this way you make the anxiety or depression work for you and not against you.”
― Caroline Leaf, Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess: 5 Simple, Scientifically Proven Steps to Reduce Anxiety, Stress, and Toxic Thinking

Social media and chronic anxiety – warning

Our culture is obsessed with Social and digital media as we crave greater amounts of information. Yet, with all we allow ourselves to take in daily, both pleasant and stressing, society in general is beginning to show signs that something is wrong.

“The use of social networks is strongly correlated with the development of anxiety and other psychological problems such as depression, insomnia, stress, decreased subjective happiness, and a sense of mental deprivation.”

NIH National Library of Medicine, Link Between Excessive Social Media Use and Psychiatric Disorders, 03/27/2023 

Stanford Law School, A 2023 US Surgeon General’s Advisory Report, NIH National Library of Medicine, and a myriad of other news articles and universities all warn of the critical dangers regarding how much time we spend on social and digital media. UC Davis Health gives a myriad of reasons why, and include safe tips for usage, which strongly suggest in-person contact over online contact, and greatly limiting online scrolling.

Neuroscience and anxiety – hope for healing

Neuroscientists are learning that unbridled negative emotions/circumstances and their corresponding thought patterns build toxic pathways in our brains much like deformed roots and branches of a tree. In addition, they are also learning that we can retrain our brains to shut off the spiraling thought patterns that help produce chronic anxiety and depression.

There is hope because our brains can be retrained.

We all have choices, and can choose patterns that avoid or heal chronic anxiety. Who and what I listen to is critical for my mental health and for retraining my brain toward more healthy pathways. If the majority of my intake only encourages and affirms my anxiety, depression, and negativity, I’m feeding myself poison.

I was recently told that someone, whom I love deeply, realized that much of her anxiety was caused by what and who she listened to, and that once she stopped all the toxins coming in, she began to see life with greater positivity. Several of the above reports suggested limiting social and digital media usage in order to improve mental health.

After my first husband’s death in 2008, what I listened to helped to decrease grief and anxiety

• Instead of listening to music that “understood” and “affirmed” my grief and anxiety, I chose music that reminded me that I was understood and upheld by the God who made and loved me, that I didn’t walk alone, and that God had good plans for my future. Rather than becoming further depressed, the music improved my mental health. I’ve heard many testimonies from others who also chose to listen to Christian music for 30 days, and that it changed their outlook on life. KLOVE is an excellent starting point.
• I made time to sit with my pain and acknowledge the loss with Jesus as my companion, rather than allow anxiety and grief to spiral over and over in my head. I listened to Jesus’ voice and comfort over focusing on the grief, anxiety, and loss I felt. The space I made to grieve allowed me to heal sooner, and offered me greater peace as I navigated this new season of life.
• I surrounded myself with people who could offer hope and instruction as to how to navigate this new stage of life. I attended a local GriefShare group that surrounded me with people who understood. The accompanied grief training also taught me that my grief experiences were normal, and helped me navigate this new life with greater peace. Both the people and training equipped me to understand my grief so I could heal, offering less space for anxious thoughts to take precedence. GriefShare has chapters throughout the US and also has a web presence if you live outside the US.

After remarrying in 2012, a trauma counselor helped tremendously with anxiety

My newly blended family struggled with the traumatic loss of their former wife and mom two years before. Also, I was now the third mom to not only my adopted son, but now two step-sons who had also been adopted. Life wasn’t easy for any of us as we navigated to blend our family. in addition, I continued to deal with the anxiety associated with my first husband’s death. Pain clashed with pain and sometimes triggered old wounds and created new ones.

I finally realized I needed assistance to work through the trauma, and so my pastor recommended a Christian trauma counselor. She affirmed the trauma by acknowledging that I wasn’t exaggerating the struggles. She also spoke truth, hope, and life into our situation, and gave me sound advice as to how to express my heart, needs, and emotions so my husband could better understand. This time with her gave me tools, hope, and a healthier way forward, and broke down opportunities for anxiety to continue to rule.

After about four years of marriage, things began to calm down significantly, and I had healed enough that the anxiety no longer had a hold on me. I was grateful for the morning I awoke, and anxiety wasn’t the first emotion I experienced. I was finally beginning to feel safe.

During COVID we invented new practices to guard against anxiety

Covid, for the most part, is behind us. Yet the effects are still among us. What I learned from that time still affects what and who I listen to today.

• I cut off most of the news and social media as it was having a negative impact on my mental health. I still hold to this practice. My life is much more fruitful because I don’t spend hours listening to and reading about things I have no control over. So when I interact with the pain of others within my world, I have a greater pool of energy and compassion to give. My impact is increased because I’ve not given my emotional energy to things outside my sphere of influence.
• My husband and I began a practice then that we still hold to today – we often spend time near the end of the day listening to and singing contemplative worship and praise music that lifts our eyes from the events of this world to God’s realm among us. It calms and soothes me from the effects of daily life, and often eases any anxiety that I may be facing with his peace.

The role the Bible plays in my mental health

Reading my Bible daily is critical to my mental health. Below are some helpful steps to begin and maintain a reading plan:

• Pray for God to reveal his love for me
• Don’t begin with Genesis or Matthew
• Good starting places – the Psalms (reveals God’s understanding and compassion) and the gospel of John (reveals God’s love and power through Jesus)
• Read a newer translation such as the NIV or NLT. King James was a wonderful translation for its time, but the archaic language makes it difficult to understand today
• Read until something about God’s love, or a positive course change sticks out to you. That may be God speaking to your heart
• Respond to what you read – Pause, consider, record what you recieved, and talk to God about it

A taste from God’s Word

The Bible simply speaks to the wisdom of guarding what I allow into my mind, and the positive benefit of doing so:

…whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:8-9 (NLT)

A Prayer of Hope

Lord, you have brought great healing into my mind, body, and spirit, so I ask you to do the same for this dear one. Your love for them surpasses knowledge. May you grant them the trust they need to reach out to you. In Jesus’ name, amen.

A Song of Hope